Remember 1982 and that brain-rut-inducing Thomas Dolby song, She Blinded Me with Science?&nbsp;
Science can be blinding--and blind--but today let's explore how Emotions can be, too.
(Science, of course, can be blind because it presumes itself to be the determinant of what is real.&nbsp; It is the great judge, jury and executioner.&nbsp; And yet, on matters such as art or ethics, science has little if anything to say.&nbsp; Genomes or no genomes, deconstruction is no panacea.)
But what do I mean by "Emotional Impairment" or "Emotional Blindness?"&nbsp; Simply put, I mean that emotions can swallow us whole and, once enveloped within their darkness it is virtually impossible to see our hands in front of our face.
There's <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0013TTK1W/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1">a great book</a> that describes similar phenomena, but let me attack it this way...
Forget for a moment the limbic system and all the hormones (which play absolutely vital roles in emotion) and let's just focus on two psychological elements: (1)Loss Avoidance&nbsp;and (2)Commitment.
As denoted by the image below, when one's "Opposition to Loss" (loss avoidance) and "Commitment" escalate, we have a recipe to brew disaster.
&nbsp;
<div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 329px; height: 210px;" src="../../blogging/image.axd?picture=2010%2f7%2f5.png" alt="" width="603" height="442" /></div>
&nbsp;
Examples are ubiquitous, from gambling and airplane crashes to suicide and high-risk behaviors.&nbsp; Wherever we see an individual tied to high-stakes, we are right if we see trouble.
Let's take a&nbsp;current example, one that I'm sure has universal applications: War.
Whether we look at "Civil" Wars, Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq...or the thousands of wars that have been waged non-stop since the dawn of humankind, we see leaders in the crosshairs.&nbsp; Leaders like Lyndon B. Johnson, who felt a tremendous pull between the war in Vietnam and his commitment stateside to create the Great Society.&nbsp; Here's a great, representative quote from LBJ in 1968.&nbsp; At the time, America had 500,000 troops in Vietnam and there had been tens of thousands of U.S. casualties:
&ldquo;I knew from the start that I was bound to be crucified either way I moved.&nbsp; If I left the woman I really loved &ndash; the Great Society &ndash; in order to get involved with that bitch of a war on the other side of the world, then I would lose everything at home.&nbsp; All my programs, all my dreams to provide education and medical care.&nbsp; But if I left that war and let the Communists take over South Vietnam, there would follow in this country an endless national debate &ndash; a mean and destructive debate &ndash; that would shatter my presidency, kill my administration, and damage our democracy.&rdquo;
&nbsp;
What happens when we, as leaders, become consumed by Loss Avoidance while simultaneously Escalating our Commitment?&nbsp; We go blind.
We send more and more troops into un-win-able wars.&nbsp; We change mission.&nbsp; We broaden mission through scope-creep.&nbsp; We change the game.&nbsp; We change the rules.&nbsp; We change the scoreboard.&nbsp; We sell, we push, we spin.&nbsp; We beg for more.&nbsp; We ask and take and dicker and steal and we, along with all those around us, go up in flames.
I have a sweet friend whom everyone calls, "Zippo."&nbsp; Why Zippo?&nbsp;
Because every time he opens his mouth, he lights himself on fire.
He has no (in the words of my mother) "governor."&nbsp; No filter between his brain and his tongue.&nbsp; Or, perhaps too permeable a filter.
We all know Zippos.&nbsp; "Did he just say that?" we ask ourselves.&nbsp; And maybe, just maybe, it occurs to them after they've said what they've said..."did I just say that out loud?"
Beware your emotions.&nbsp; Yes, they serve a prehistoric purpose, without which you will win the <a href="http://www.darwinawards.com/">Darwin Award</a>.
As human beings, it is true that our emotions often supersede rational thought.&nbsp; We are reaction machines, our pulse often telling the story before we ourselves are attuned to our anger.
Be vigilant and self-aware, especially when--while reaching for the prize--you scale to the tippy-top of a precarious ladder comprised of self-justifying rungs named "I cannot lose" and "No turning back."&nbsp; The air up there gets very, very thin...and where so, we stop thinking, stop seeing clearly and become blind to our own emotionality.
Surround yourself with buddies, fail-safes, ejection seats&nbsp;and fire extinguishers.&nbsp; People who can say, "What are you thinking?&nbsp; What are you telling yourself?&nbsp; Why are you acting like this?&nbsp; Who have you become, Mr. Hyde?"&nbsp; And mechanisms designed to break the glass and douse the flames while you extricate yourself from your burning building&nbsp;and all that&nbsp;you have wrought.

Emotional Impairment

While literally countless important questions swirl around us every day, there are few that stimulate me as much as, "What makes a great leader?"
It's a loaded question, of course, because embedded within it is&nbsp;another question, "Are leaders born or made?"&nbsp; (The short answer, for today, is&mdash;"Yes."&nbsp; But more on that Russian doll another time.)
Leadership is such a perennially important issue and this year is no different.&nbsp; Every generation believes its time is unheralded and novel, and ours is not unique: we&nbsp;continue to live&nbsp;in undeniably tremendous times&mdash;an era of explosive growth, ceaseless change and limitless potential.&nbsp; (But again, the same could be said 4,000 years ago...2,000 years ago, and again during the Renaissance...it is no less true today.)
As always, we need great leaders and greater leadership if we are to continue progressing in fields and practices as diverse as geopolitics, science, economics, finance,&nbsp;spirituality (yes, spirituality), innovation and sustainability.&nbsp; From natural to man-made disasters in Alaska, New York, Sri Lanka and India&nbsp;to Thailand, Haiti&nbsp;and Louisiana, the importance&nbsp;and effects of leadership (or its absence) are&mdash;if we are fortunate&mdash;a broadcast away.&nbsp;
In future blogs, I commit to writing more extensively about leadership at large, but today I will limit my thoughts to the importance of formal education (e.g., the University) as a mechanism and greenhouse for creating and growing tomorrow's leaders and will then conclude with a&nbsp;rough&nbsp;table differentiating poor from great leaders.
My preliminary comments are <a href="https://charlierose.com/guests/6283">inspired today by John Sexton</a>, President of New York University ("NYU").&nbsp; My later comments are inspired by <a href="http://www.johnmaxwell.com/">John Maxwell</a>, author of 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (among other books).&nbsp; 
Though I believe there are indeed few 'new things' under the Sun, to the extent these men's ideas are held tenably together, I am to blame.
&nbsp;
Universities for Tomorrow
Describing the University for Tomorrow requires a few thousand dissertions and years of research, to be sure, so I will simply take a slipshod whack to get your mind whirring.&nbsp; You, along with millions of others who are already studying this opportunity, can do the remaining 99.9999%&nbsp;by filling in the gaps.
Fact #1: 70 of today's 85 oldest organizations are, in fact, universities.&nbsp; (Vatican City and Parliament are examples of the other 15.)
Fact #2: If you want to create a vibrant 'center of thought,' create a great university and wait 200 years.
Fact #3: The universities-within-walls which brought us this far will not lead us into the future.
<a href="http://nyuad.nyu.edu/">What NYU is doing in Abu Dhabi </a>is right on the money: it's primarily about people, programs, teaching and research (and just so happens to serendipitously be what my doctoral program was, but on steroids to the&nbsp;100th power).&nbsp; I attended the modest Union Institute &amp; University, the first&nbsp;"University without Walls" and participated in classes&nbsp;hosted in&nbsp;Brattleboro, Montpelier, Cincinnati, Los Angeles, Sacramento and Miami.&nbsp; We regularly&nbsp;embraced eccentric&nbsp;professors on sabbaticals from the Ivy League&nbsp;who operated 'unfettered' from many of the restraints they described occurring in Cambridge, New Haven, Providence, Princeton, Philadelphia, Hanover, Ithaca and NYC.&nbsp;
...but I digress...
What&nbsp;encouraged me about Mr. Sexton's comments was the notion that&nbsp;tomorrow's university is an open, diverse, ecumenical, organic circulatory system of ideas and best practices that&nbsp;will focus&nbsp;on&nbsp;creative, exploratory thought and nuanced discourse.
I couldn't agree more.&nbsp;
Indeed, any university, even the ones mired in the past&nbsp;(the ones we revere, historically)&nbsp;are mandated to help students learn to think (and critically) for themselves.&nbsp; But&nbsp;my impression, far too often, is that university life can quickly become&nbsp;High School 2.0,&nbsp;packed to the gills with&nbsp;memorizing facts, completing rote work, regurgitating information or defending knowledge.&nbsp; Unquestionably, we should&nbsp;possess societal standards of 'minimum knowledge,' but&nbsp;I&nbsp;expect this work to occur more fully in grades K-12.&nbsp; The undergraduate years can round-out this process, but the fact that today's ACT and SAT tests still&nbsp;emphasize standardized knowledge, facts, reading, mathematics&mdash;and some writing (though many admissions boards admit they don't quite know what to do with this&nbsp;element yet)&mdash;I remain concerned that our perspectives are deficient.
While the United States is proceeding toward national standards in 48 of the 50 states, China is migrating toward a more exploratory curriculum designed to create great THINKERS and INNOVATORS rather than fact-regurgitators.&nbsp; The ideal approach is, of course, a hybrid that includes the best&nbsp;of both.&nbsp; We need a hygiene-oriented 'bare minimum' (which should be rigorous, not minimalistic; a 'threshold knowledge base' if you will) combined with strong creative and critical thinking skills.&nbsp; IQ has never been a predictor of leadership success and it never will be.&nbsp; Similarly, while&nbsp;standardized admissions are&nbsp;undoubtedly sufficient at predicting university success, they are representative solely of&nbsp;the coursework&nbsp;comprising undergraduate schoolwork&mdash;which illuminates my point and&nbsp;the&nbsp;'smallness' of what we expect today.&nbsp; Moreover, IQ&nbsp;and standardized metrics will never&nbsp;wholly predict&nbsp;a leader's ultimate&nbsp;societal contributions,&nbsp;service to humankind or&nbsp;general performance, so whatever the University of Tomorrow intends to look like, it must quickly learn to shed historic metrics in favor of indices that get at meaning, contribution and potential.
The single greatest determinant of student performance in the classroom is the teacher's expectations.&nbsp; Knowing this, we should ourselves have the highest expectations for tomorrow's teachers, educators, instructors, professors...and each and every one of them should be well-versed in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect">Pygmalion Effect</a>.
Finally, the university of tomorrow should be a bastion of&nbsp;deep discourse, not soundbytes.&nbsp; Mr. Sexton described at length the disadvantage that today's thoughtful politicians start from when they find themselves embroiled in conflicts with opponents adept at dumbing down exceedingly complex issues.&nbsp; The media loves sticky slogans (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_the_economy,_stupid">"It's the economy, stupid."</a>), but we must have an appetite for prolonged, nuanced,&nbsp;systemic dialogue if we are to more fully understand issues, one another and create students and leaders capable of doing the same.
&nbsp;
Poor&nbsp;vs. Great Leaders
Perhaps contary to popular opinion, the leader at the helm of such a university is not terribly dissimilar from the sort of leader who thrives in enterprise.&nbsp; In the comments of John Sexton and the work of John Maxwell, I see similar threads regarding how students, university officials and tomorrow's leaders interact with the world around them.&nbsp;
In this light, I conclude today's very embryonic blog with the following table&nbsp;differentiating 'poor' and 'great' leaders.&nbsp; I trust that it might prove handy somewhere along the line.
More on these and adjacent thoughts in the weeks to come.&nbsp;
<img style="width: 665px; height: 369px;" src="../../blogging/image.axd?picture=2010%2f7%2fPoorvsGreatLeadersPDF.png" alt="" width="741" height="202" />

Leadership, the University & Poor vs. Great Leaders

It has been raining for several days now.&nbsp; The weather is cool, there&#39;s a breeze in the air and the skies are overcast. 


Our entire family is recovering from what feels like &#39;weeks&#39; of events, parties, evening meetings and Saturday-Sunday commitments with no end. 


But today was different.&nbsp; 


We relaxed, read, turned on the television and tuned out. 


Somewhere in the afternoon, however, our&nbsp;daughter Lauren (who turned eight last month) gathered her pillow, some blankets and her pink journal...and created a really cozy &#39;nest&#39; in the bathtub of the bathroom adjoining&nbsp;our bunker for the&nbsp;day. 


This evening, over dinner, she shyly shared her notes with me. 


I found them to be wonderfully encouraging and thought perhaps you might, too.&nbsp; 


Here we go; her &#39;entry for the day,&#39; unfettered and unvarnished.&nbsp; 


&nbsp;


The Story of Life, by Lauren Leath 


8 Years Old 


Life is a simple message.&nbsp; 


People think that if they try, they will get it right. 


Sometimes that&#39;s not true. 


But people can change over time.&nbsp; They are not always the same.&nbsp; Maybe when they are 9, they like sports.&nbsp; When they are 35, they don&#39;t like to be outside. 


People don&#39;t always change, though. 


So, here are my 10 Rules for the Road: 


1. Life is to enjoy (so enjoy your life, instead of just having a boring old life) 


2. Take your time 


3. Be positive (make one choice and stay the course) 


4. Be bright (shine, show people what you can do, help others) 


5.&nbsp;Stand up for yourself (if someone&#39;s not treating you nice, don&#39;t take it, use your voice) 


6. Look at everything around you (don&#39;t focus on yourself, pay attention to other people) 


7. Encourage others 


8. Be your true self (don&#39;t try to be cooler than you are, because then something bad can happen) 


9. Always believe (just because the vet says Daisy&#39;s not pregnant doesn&#39;t mean she&#39;s not) 


10. Figure out who you are (don&#39;t spend your whole life wasting your time, figure out who you are and what you like and do it) 


These are my 10 Rules for the Road. 


...to be continued 


&nbsp;

The Story of Life, by Lauren Leath, age 8

<a href="/blogging/file.axd?file=2010%2f6%2fJohnWooden%2cRIP%2cJune4%2c2010.pdf">JohnWooden,RIP,June4,2010.pdf (130.19 kb)</a>

Rest in Peace, Coach John Wooden

On May 20, 2010 I caught a neat <a href="https://charlierose.com/search-results/?query=Nathan%20Myhrvold">episode of Charlie Rose </a>on PBS&nbsp;featuring an interview&nbsp;with Nathan Myhrvold of <a href="http://intellectualventures.com/Home.aspx">Intellectual Ventures</a>.&nbsp;
(Maybe you remember Nathan;&nbsp;he has been 'everywhere' the last couple years describing everything from IV's "mosquito-zapping laser" to their proposed "water hose&nbsp;in the sky,"&nbsp;theorized to&nbsp;minimize global warming.)
IV has been compared to "Davos...in Birkenstocks."
Whether you're creative, love people who are or fancy yourself a polymath, you'll totally dig Nathan. (Pun intended, given his fascination with paleontology and archaeology.)
It's fun, if only for a few minutes, to imagine how someone like him&mdash;and his "lab crew"&mdash;see the world.&nbsp;
Here's a great <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/12/080512fa_fact_gladwell?printable=true">article</a> about Nathan by Malcolm Gladwell, along with a giddy <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/nathan_myhrvold_on_archeology_animal_photography_bbq.html">presentation</a> at TED.

Creativity & Genius: Nathan Myhrvold

The&nbsp;matter of 'workplace' and 'personal' motivation comes up a lot.
Here's one of the more pleasurable explanations that I've come across.&nbsp; My thanks to a dear colleague for sharing it.
Enjoy!&nbsp;
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/u6XAPnuFjJc" width="290" height="150" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<a title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc</a>

Authentic Motivation

&quot;I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.&nbsp; Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.&quot; 


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Matthew 10:16 


&nbsp;


I&#39;ve been asked to speak to a group in a couple months on a topic entitled Trust &amp; Influence.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;m excited because these are really fascinating elements -- the sort&nbsp;that undergird virtually all human interactions.&nbsp; 


The amount of literature in these areas is super-duper-bountiful, so let&#39;s make some moonshine today by distilling a few key ingredients into a couple potent drops.&nbsp; These will be my primary talking points&nbsp;for the group in&nbsp;April. 


Let&#39;s start with Trust.&nbsp; My&nbsp;perspective on trust is that it is currency,&nbsp;so I tend to think of 10 &#39;coins&#39; -- the Trust Coins if you will.&nbsp; Now, none of these coins&nbsp;is &#39;new,&#39; they are, in fact, abundantly found in one form or another throughout nearly all trust literature.&nbsp; But I like thinking of them in terms of money because, essentially, we&#39;re either broke, flush, or break-even in our relationships with others.&nbsp; As Covey might say, &quot;If you&#39;re broke in your relationship with another person, you cannot make any withdrawals.&quot;&nbsp; Conversely, those who love us extend a great deal of grace...a relational &#39;line of credit,&#39; perhaps.&nbsp; (As an aside, a word of wisdom: Obey the &#39;platinum rule&#39; [which is even better than gold] by treating others as they wish to be treated.&nbsp; The day will come, as it always does, when you will screw up&nbsp;royally and&nbsp;wish you had been nicer, more forgiving or...more gracious.) 

<div style="text-align: center">
<img src="/blogging/image.axd?picture=2010%2f2%2fTrustCoins.png" alt="" /> 
</div>

In short, if you want to be &#39;relationally rich,&#39; mind your coins.&nbsp; Be approachable (open door, receptive), Know your audience (meet&nbsp;others where they are, not where you want them to be), Demonstrate character &amp; integrity (consider your &#39;brand&#39; and live a life whole and undivided; contrast this with many current politicians), Be competent, Find commonalities with others, Be&nbsp;credible (believable, reliable), Demonstrate empathy (remember, the boomerang often returns), Demonstrate win/win/win intent (you, others, the organization at large),&nbsp;Demonstrate propriety (appropriate professional behavior), and Live consistently (back to the&nbsp;idea of integrity, your pattern of behavior over time is a&nbsp;huge predictor for&nbsp;&#39;being counted upon&#39; or not).&nbsp; 


Continuing to the notion of Influence, then, the correlations become clear.&nbsp; Someone who is &#39;relationally rich&#39; is vastly more likely to be influential.&nbsp; But influence is an exceedingly deep and broad topic, so let&#39;s break it down into&nbsp;2&nbsp;bites: Principles&nbsp;&amp; Personhood. 


Essentially, influence manifests&nbsp;through two sources&nbsp;-- a half-dozen principles and about nine related aspects of one&#39;s personhood. 


What does this mean? 


Well, take principles, for instance, which are sort of like phenomena.&nbsp; Where we see Consistency occur (for example,&nbsp;if you behave consistently &#39;good&#39;), we tend to see influence increase.&nbsp; Where we see Reciprocation occur (for example, you &#39;give&#39; because you realize this increases the likelihood that you will &#39;get&#39;), we tend to see influence increase.&nbsp; And the same is true for Social Proof (a group of us stares&nbsp;at&nbsp;a building across the street and&nbsp;&#39;everyone&#39; stops to stare...something must be going on or important!), and Scarcity (the&nbsp;fewer iPads available on Day 1 and the longer the lines will be), and Authority (a&nbsp;police officer&#39;s badge &#39;does&#39; something) and Liking (those who are liked tend to be more influential than those who are disliked).&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 


<img style="width: 685px; height: 213px" src="/blogging/image.axd?picture=2010%2f2%2finfluence.png" alt="" width="1090" height="312" /> 


But personhood, while conceptually&nbsp;related to these principles, is unique: it is influence that&nbsp;emanates from&nbsp;who you are more than what you do or solely how you behave.&nbsp; Indeed, it&#39;s difficult to uncouple the two, I know, but think of it this way: a principle is something &#39;going on&#39; while my personhood is &#39;who I am or how I&#39;m perceived.&#39;&nbsp; Intertwined, yes...but distinct.&nbsp; A skeptic might argue, &quot;But isn&#39;t WHO I AM...WHAT&nbsp;I DO?&quot;&nbsp; And the anwer, of course, is complicated.&nbsp; In short, it is &#39;yes, mostly...&#39; but &#39;no, not necessarily.&#39;&nbsp; Perhaps more on that another day.&nbsp; 


Your &#39;personal&#39; influence, then, often derives from nine common sources, two of which (Legitimate and Referent) overlap with principles I&#39;ve described above.&nbsp; Legitimate influence emanates from the fact that you are, say, the boss!&nbsp; And as the boss, &quot;What I say goes!&quot;&nbsp; (But only so far, in fact.&nbsp; Legitimate influence is actually among the least influential.&nbsp; After all, when the boss turns his back, what do we do?&nbsp; That&#39;s right...now you&#39;ve got the idea.)&nbsp; Referent influence is similar to Likeability...I am attracted to you, for whatever reasons, and as a result I tend to like you and, therefore, I&#39;m more inclined to be influenced by you. 


The dark side to influence is that&nbsp;charlatans, sharks, snake-oil salesmen, con artists&nbsp;and Ponzi schemers exploit these principles and elements of personhood by pursuing just the right sort of pigeons/marks/prey most inclined to be influenced: those in distress, the lonely/isolated, the naive/trusting/gullible, the caregiver, the person who thinks he is smarter than the ploy&nbsp;or -- as Jesus Christ indicated in the scripture above -- those who&nbsp;traipse through life as doves, always trusting and denying the existence of wolves.&nbsp; (Just because I deny their existence does not mean they don&#39;t exist.)&nbsp; 


By way of interest, Mensa members&nbsp;and Nobel Prize Laureates&nbsp;are regarded by con artists as easier prey because their&nbsp;success and confidence give them a false sense of security.&nbsp;&nbsp;Luminaries reason, &quot;I&#39;m smarter than everyone I know.&nbsp; No one&nbsp;can dupe me.&quot;&nbsp; And voila, just like that the credit default swapper (aka &#39;institutional pickpocket&#39;) distracts them with feigned awe, ignorance, brilliance or a &#39;once-in-a-lifetime opportunity&#39; that &#39;no one else sees,&#39;&nbsp;pivots&nbsp;around their sense of imperviousness and takes them for all&nbsp;they&#39;re worth. 


The remaining seven elements that shape influence include Affiliation (e.g., my mafia or gang membership gets me a good table on Friday night), Coercion (if you don&#39;t do what I say, I&#39;m the type who will beat you about the head and shoulders with this bat), Competition (the pizza only has 8 slices and every piece I eat is one less for you, aka &#39;zero sum&#39;), Expertise (I&#39;m the doctor and what I say goes), Guilt (for as long as you disobey, you&#39;re in my doghouse), Information (I have the data and I lord it over you) and Reward (if you play nice, I&#39;ll give you a cookie).&nbsp; No doubt, these seven elements have a lot to do with principles but, essentially, many people are &#39;wired&#39; a certain way...nature,&nbsp;nurture, or&nbsp;the combination of both have shaped their personhood like a river stone and we come to &#39;know them&#39; as being this way.&nbsp; (There is, of course,&nbsp;flexibility&nbsp;or redemption, but these are unquestionably bigger topics for another month!)&nbsp; 


Summarizing then, Trust &amp; Influence operate circuitously, one reinforcing the other. 


On your journey to make the world a better place, keep a third eye on your own behavior (how you are seen, perceived) and the behaviors of others, lest you over or underestimate them.&nbsp; Some are wolves in sheep&#39;s clothing -- seeking to manipulate and take advantage under guises, ruses, masks and the covers of trust...while others, like Christ himself, are mistaken by many for lunatics or heretics when they come open-handed with nothing but goodwill.

Trust & Influence

In his bittersweet swan song, <a href="http://www.thelastlecture.com/">The Last Lecture</a>, Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch shared countless pearls of wisdom about&nbsp;living and dying.&nbsp; Ten months later, he died at the age of 48 from pancreatic cancer, but not before&nbsp;saying, &quot;You have to decide if you&#39;re a Tigger or an Eeyore.&quot; 


Every hour and&nbsp;minute of every day is difficult and tragic for someone somewhere.&nbsp; I&#39;ve touched briefly on the subject of grief over the years, but paraphrasing now Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor, &quot;What&nbsp;perspective does a WASPy, middle class, opportunity-fortunate American have?&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;Perhaps very little...as little as a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonia_Sotomayor">Princeton and Yale Law School graduate&nbsp;</a>might have.&nbsp; 


A few statistics to set a baseline for &#39;perspective:&#39; 


1. 876,213 children were&nbsp;reported missing&nbsp;in the United States in 2000 (FBI National Crime Information Center).&nbsp; Remarkably, the NCIC estimates that kidnappings comprise less than 2% of all violent crimes against juveniles reported to police.&nbsp; This means that a lot worse is likely happening than we know. 


2. In the summer of 1931, between 1 million and 4 million Chinese died in a flood.&nbsp; 


3. In 2004, approximately 230,000 innocents died in what is known as the Indian Ocean earthquake.&nbsp; 


4. An estimated 230,000 more died 35 days ago in Haiti.&nbsp; 


5. Between 1348 and 1350, &#39;The Black Death&#39; pandemic killed an estimated 30-60% of Europe&#39;s population.&nbsp; 


The list of such atrocities, from those perpetrated upon the most innocent among us (children) by the most evil among us (ill and/or wicked adults) to natural disasters, is a long one.&nbsp; For all intents and purposes, it might as well be infinite.&nbsp; 


As I glance through my last 155 blog entries, it appears that I&#39;ve written about loss or death perhaps a dozen times.&nbsp; Generally, I strive to encourage.&nbsp; So why am I periodically moved to consider end-of-life issues, wisdom for my daughter, or matters as seemingly vainglorious as &#39;legacy?&#39; 


As someone who writes often and has for many years,&nbsp;writing becomes -- in&nbsp;retrospect -- a bit like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rorschach_test">Rorschach inkblot</a>...reflecting (obviously)&nbsp;one&#39;s thoughts and emotions.&nbsp; The same is true for all of us, of course,&nbsp;though I doubt very seriously that&nbsp;busy people proofread, for the sake of comparison,&nbsp;archived emails&nbsp;as much as&nbsp;I&nbsp;do this blog.&nbsp; What glutton would?&nbsp; 


I share these uncharacteristically personal and intimate thoughts for a reason.&nbsp; Yes, there is a point.&nbsp; I am going somewhere with this seemingly random stream of consciousness...hang in there.&nbsp; 


This has been a difficult week, but only&nbsp;temperately compared to the grievous losses&nbsp;sustained by&nbsp;two dear families who -- quite unexpectedly and most certainly prematurely -- watched as beloved individuals died in their arms. 


The pain at &#39;ground zero&#39; is always the greatest, fading&nbsp;more forgivingly&nbsp;as&nbsp;it&nbsp;ripples out and away from the epicenter&nbsp;like waves in a pond.&nbsp; 9/11...the loss of a child...a sibling...a parent...a friend...we all know&nbsp;loss too well, undoubtedly experiencing our own round in the ring and logically concluding this tour with the ultimate reckoning.&nbsp; 


While the sum of all losses occurring across the globe&nbsp;is unfathomable, unimaginable,&nbsp;incomprehensible...we&nbsp;each have our very personal and proximate&nbsp;narrative of loss.&nbsp; As budding storytellers in grammar school, we are educated to start with something smallish: a child is born, a boy hurts his knee, a girl falls in love, a&nbsp;family&nbsp;seeks a&nbsp;better life.&nbsp; And from such seeds, we extrapolate.&nbsp; The story bounces along, characters come and go, things happen.&nbsp;&nbsp;On the way, the reader is drawn in, drawn down, drawn up.&nbsp; And perhaps at the conclusion thinks, &quot;Wow.&nbsp; That&#39;s me.&quot;&nbsp; Or, &quot;That&#39;s humankind.&quot;&nbsp; 


I cannot wrap my head around&nbsp;famine&nbsp;and disease&nbsp;in Africa.&nbsp; But I can wrap my hand around the hand of Kiki, the seven-year-old boy in Haiti who emerged from the concrete eight days after&nbsp;the quake.&nbsp;&nbsp;Or I can hug him,&nbsp;or pay for his medical attention,&nbsp;or feed him, or promise to pay for his education, or all of the above. 


So rather than&nbsp;minimizing my own life experience because it is too WASPy, simply lamenting the woes of nearly 1 million U.S. children who are reported missing each year, or throwing my hands up in despair because I&nbsp;do not know how I can possibly help Africa...I should instead ask myself something manageable like, &quot;Will I be an Eeyore or a Tigger?&quot; 


This mindset applies not only to the most important matters of life and death, but also to the routine and trivial: Will I whine when my pizza has too much tomato sauce?&nbsp; Or when the man with the world&#39;s longest torso places himself before me in the movie theater?&nbsp; Or when the parking slot closest to the entrance is &#39;stolen&#39; by a spritelike teenager in a Porsche? 


No, I shall not. 


Eeyore would, but I will not.&nbsp; 


I may not be the archetypal Tigger that Pausch embodied, but I cannot,&nbsp;in good conscience, be an Eeyore. 


Eeyores are over-populated already, and it would be a crime to enlarge their number. 


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My own take is this: We&nbsp;rarely know even at the end whether we released Boomerangs or Balloons throughout our life, but no matter.&nbsp; Both were meant to fly. 


Sometimes I aim high and throw hard -- and life reciprocates.&nbsp; I give love, and love comes back.&nbsp; I study and work hard, and&nbsp;the world&nbsp;opens her arms.&nbsp; I discipline my child, and she thanks me later by living a life&nbsp;replete with joy and grace and contribution.&nbsp; 


But sometimes, no matter how high I aim or how hard I throw, there is no echo...no feedback.&nbsp; Just silence.&nbsp; Or tragedy I cannot understand.&nbsp; The love I give...gone.&nbsp; The sacrifice I make...gone.&nbsp; The job, the purpose, the savings, the home, the child, the dream, the freedom, the country...gone. 


Whether a flood, an earthquake, a plague, or&nbsp;an intimate&nbsp;casualty&nbsp;-- we can only comprehend so much. 


But we must, and we shall. 


And when we&#39;re gone, so will those behind us and those behind them. 


Humankind is resilient and people, particularly Tiggers, are&nbsp;wired to move forward.&nbsp; And the rest&nbsp;must be encouraged&nbsp;to rise to their feet, dust themselves off, and soldier on.&nbsp; After all, we&#39;re not always Tiggers or always Eeyores -- these &#39;labels&#39; are really just descriptions of behavior...so from time to time, we&#39;re one or the other.&nbsp; You&#39;d be amazed at how contagious Tiggerness is.&nbsp; (Or Eeyoreness, for that matter.)&nbsp; Such things are viral and communicable (like clapping, laughing, and crying), as has been proven anecdotally, empirically, and statistically more&nbsp;times than you might care to know.&nbsp;&nbsp; 


The majority of people are inclined to inquire, seek, and find that boomerang you threw into the fray all those years ago.&nbsp; Or that balloon you released in the stillness of night, the one they eventually untangle from the tree halfway across the state. 


So don&#39;t worry about what life will bring or&nbsp;doubt whether you can make a difference.&nbsp;&nbsp;The last move, whether a boomerang or a ballon, is the same: let&nbsp;go.&nbsp; 


The&nbsp;ripple effects of your life&nbsp;are&nbsp;best&nbsp;recounted by those who succeed you,&nbsp;for they will tell your story personally just as I am&nbsp;generally.&nbsp; 


If you lived estimably, there will be those who remember.&nbsp; Who will wish&nbsp;they could&nbsp;call you,&nbsp;hug you,&nbsp;see your smile.&nbsp; And they will weep at their loss&nbsp;but rejoice&nbsp;in your life. 


It&#39;s one of the greatest ironies in life&#39;s orchard: The fruit only ripens when you leave the grove. 


So do the very best you can with all you&#39;ve got for as long as you&#39;re given -- and embrace joyfully the realization that those behind you will&nbsp;indeed experience your harvest.&nbsp;

Boomerangs & Balloons

I stumbled across <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2010/02/01/news/companies/dov_seidman_lrn.fortune/index.htm">an&nbsp;interesting article</a> in a recent European issue of Fortune that explores the dollar-value of corporate virtue and, in particular, trust.&nbsp; Perhaps you&#39;ll find it interesting, too. 

But can you really measure the impact of good behavior? One promising area of research is around trust. In his book, Seidman discusses Jeffrey H. Dyer and Wujin Chu&#39;s landmark 2003 study of buyer/supplier relationships among eight major automakers in the U.S., Japan, and South Korea. Dyer and Chu found a strong correlation between trust and procurement costs. The least trusted buyers in the study incurred procurement costs that were five times higher than the costs of the most trusted buyers. Moreover, the least trusted companies in the study were also the least profitable. And companies that trusted each other were more likely to share valuable information like new product designs. &ldquo;Trust between companies leads to more trust,&rdquo; Seidman says. &ldquo;It sets off an upward spiral of cooperative, value-creating behaviors.&rdquo;

Valuating Corporate Virtue?

This morning I received a rather humorous email alleging, &quot;A magazine recently ran a Dilbert Quotes contest, eliciting quotes about real-life Dilbert-type managers submitted by their employees.&nbsp; Here are some of the&nbsp;best submissions from&nbsp;corporate America...&quot; 


<a href="/blogging/file.axd?file=2010%2f2%2fAlleged+Dilbert-Manager+Quotes.pdf">Alleged Dilbert-Manager Quotes.pdf (99.48 kb)</a>

Dilbert Levity

We have to do a lot of this these days, don&#39;t we? 


Squaring of&nbsp;the circle... 


In our personal budgets, we must find ways to make 1+1=3.&nbsp; Or 5.&nbsp; Or 7. 


In our organizations, not only&nbsp;must we find ways to&nbsp;&nbsp;s t r e t c h&nbsp;&nbsp;limited financial resources, but also to periodically work with square pegs currently functioning (or failing to) in round holes. 


Regardless the hurdle,&nbsp;an ability to think&nbsp;outside the proverbial box is paramount.&nbsp; 


Sometimes, when I&#39;m working with a group that&#39;s struggling to think outside the box -- or simply...creatively -- I&#39;ll pass out six toothpicks to each person and make this request:&nbsp; &quot;Using these 6 unbroken toothpicks, create 4 equilateral (equal sided) triangles.&quot; 


For several minutes, most participants struggle.&nbsp; They create pentagrams (!) and beaver dams, but they rarely create four equilateral triangles without great effort, rule-breaking, or toothpick snapping.&nbsp; And almost always, there are gaps/voids and overlapping toothpicks. 


But then, with the briefest guidance and in one fell swoop, they solve the riddle.&nbsp; 


All I have to say is, &quot;Think three dimensionally.&quot; 


And blammo...they make a pyramid.&nbsp; A 4-sided structure comprised solely of equilateral triangles. 


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The problem, of course, lies in our &#39;mental constructs.&#39;&nbsp; Too often, we think 1 or 2 dimensionally.&nbsp; We look at problems myopically or traditionally or quickly...failing to turn&nbsp;them over in our minds like rocks in a dryer.&nbsp; 


Maybe you&#39;ve heard the maxim, &quot;If you do what you&#39;ve always done, you&#39;ll get what you&#39;ve always gotten.&quot; 


Hogwash. 


It&#39;s worse than that.&nbsp; This assumes a polyanna, static view of ecosystems and the world which, of course, is unrealistic.&nbsp; The truth is much harsher: If you do what you&#39;ve always done, you&#39;ll get run over by progress, eaten by competitors, or forgotten by history. 


So, the next time you or your family or your organization face a seemingly intractable or &#39;unsolve-able&#39; problem, think of the toothpicks. 


If they (through the formation of Egypt&#39;s pyramid, one of humankind&#39;s most enduring structures) can remind us the value of creativity and innovation, then many of life&#39;s most daunting problems are half-solved. 


After all, once the solving-scheme is organized, the rest is often a matter of time and sweat, not whether and if. 


Solve on. 


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Squaring the Circle

A dear friend wrote to me earlier this week describing the tragic and unrelated deaths of two teenage boys in his hometown, both of which occurred as the result of automobile accidents over the holidays.&nbsp; A third teenager, a girl, lost her leg while trying to beat a train. 


Yesterday,&nbsp;around 3pm, a&nbsp;precious 12-year-old boy lost his life in yet another automobile accident as he returned home from school, not 2 miles from here. 


As my wife and I struggled last night to wrap our heads around such inexplicable, gut-wrenching, and unfathomable losses, we did all we know to do in such circumstances: pray.&nbsp;&nbsp;What else can one do?&nbsp; There is no consolation for such&nbsp;grief.&nbsp; It simply is.&nbsp; 


While hot meals, attentiveness, big ears, hearts, and hugs may&nbsp;slightly mollify&nbsp;-- they are feeble attempts to do the impossible.&nbsp; But we all do them anyway, because we know of no other substantive ways to help and because they are part of the acts of the human condition which accompany the grieving process. 


We lost our own son on January 4, 2006&nbsp;of complications from trisomy 18 but, however horrific this loss, we never heard Will laugh or cry, never saw him run or jump or fall in love.&nbsp; To lose a child whom one has put to bed on countless nights, whose sweaty forehead one has kissed, whose warm hand one has squeezed on long walks...I cannot comprehend it. 


As our little family visited Will&#39;s gravesite in the cold and blowing wind on Monday night, we said our prayers. 


And in returning to the car, the tombstone of a 12-year-old boy caught my eye.&nbsp; On it was inscribed the children&#39;s epitaph known as &quot;I Am Not Here.&quot;&nbsp; I leave you with it today, along with the gentle reminder: Life is short.&nbsp; Tell those you love that you love them and make the most of every minute of every day. 


Don&#39;t stand by my grave and weep, 
For I am not there, I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glint of snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn&#39;s rain. 
When you awaken in the morning, hush. 
For I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circle flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand by my grave and cry. 
I am not there, I did not die. 


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