Alyans

Permission to Feel:&nbsp;The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success
I don&rsquo;t know how you&rsquo;re feeling right now, but I know that you are.&nbsp;That&rsquo;s the gist of&nbsp;Permission to Feel,&nbsp;in which Marc Brackett estimates perhaps only 2/5ths of us have a working language capable of adequately describing our feelings.&nbsp;
&ldquo;I&rsquo;m fine,&rdquo; &ldquo;All good,&rdquo; &ldquo;A-Okay,&rdquo; &ldquo;Another day in paradise&rdquo; and &ldquo;If I were any better I&rsquo;d be twins&rdquo; are cop-outs and we know it, but they&rsquo;re chirpy and cheery, don&rsquo;t necessitate effortful dialogue, require no thinking on our part and, perhaps best of all, they&rsquo;re quick. Heaven forbid someone should actually endeavor to tell us how s/he REALLY feels. Eesh, that would require empathy, listening, and time&hellip;something many of us possess in only very limited quantities.
As family and friends die, our economy sputters, branded empires collapse, immigrants fear their future, frontline healthcare workers + police + firefighters wear down, teachers gird their loins for the viral new year, and parents whisper prayers over their kids before breathing deeply and pushing them out the door to school, the emotions we collectively feel right now are legit, powerful, and outright overwhelming. That much I&nbsp;can&nbsp;adequately describe.
Pessimism, apathy, anger, anxiety, sadness, stress, impatience, irritability, guilt, fatigue, boredom, pressure, worry, regret, distraction, embarrassment, shame, resentment, fear&hellip; They can simply be too much sometimes, and certainly 4-6 months (or years) into this New Abnormal.
Into this reality, however,&nbsp;Permission to Feel&nbsp;offers a lot of great, simple, actionable tips, tricks and skills. It&rsquo;s not a daunting, discouraging book. On the contrary, it&rsquo;s jam-packed with fun research and tools, and I bet you can buzz through it in two or three sittings.
Here are a few teasers for teachers, in particular, as school is upon us once again:
<ol>
<li>&ldquo;High school students and teachers experience negative emotions up to 70% of the time they are in school.&rdquo; &nbsp;</li>
<li>&ldquo;Research shows that having just one caring, capable adult can make the difference between whether a child thrives or not.&rdquo; &nbsp;</li>
<li>&ldquo;Classroom research shows that where there is an emotionally skilled teacher present, students disrupt less, focus more, and perform better academically.&rdquo; </li>
<li>&ldquo;Emotions determine whether academic content will be processed deeply and remembered.&rdquo;&nbsp;</li>
</ol>
Marc (Director of Yale&rsquo;s Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center in Yale&rsquo;s School of Medicine) offers this brief exercise that&rsquo;s helpful for each of us, no matter our role or profession:
<blockquote>
&ldquo;In seminars I conduct with teachers, I&rsquo;ll sometimes ask them to list their students and consider the feeling that each name automatically prompts. Is it love, dislike, trust, joy, fear, disgust? Next I&rsquo;ll say, Be honest and think about how that emotion causes you to act toward each of those children. They instantly recognize how differently they treat each child depending solely on their perception of how he or she makes them feel. It has little to do with how the child performs in class, or the child&rsquo;s needs, or anything they can name. It&rsquo;s just a strong, almost visceral reaction that usually has to do with something about the teacher, not the student. Outside the classroom, we all operate the same way: approach or avoid.&rdquo;
</blockquote>
And so, as we struggle with death and destruction, face masks, physical distancing (which eerily equates to social isolation), the politics of fear, and perpetual ambiguity, let us focus on our locus of control: You may not change me. I may not change you. But if I so choose, I can embrace a vocabulary and skill set that empowers me to more successfully say how I feel, and that&rsquo;s the sort of thing that changes (and SAVES) lives.
Permission to Feel.&nbsp;In paperback yesterday.
#PermissionToFeel
<a href="http://www.marcbrackett.com/">www.marcbrackett.com</a>
#ReadOn

Book Recommendation: "Permission to Feel"

Lauren&rsquo;s having turned 18 yesterday and set to become a college freshman in the fall gave me all the [nostalgic] feels this week, throwing me back to the first time I was a freshman.&nbsp;
I also happened to be spring cleaning my office and came across dozens of ancient photos, each of which further rocket-fueled more than three decades of memories and cast me deeper and deeper into a wormhole. Or is it a spider hole? Or a rat hole? Or a rat&rsquo;s nest? Or ratted hair? Or maybe it&rsquo;s a rabbit trail? Eesh. Similes I can remember, but I can never seem to keep my metaphors, analogies, or allegories straight. Hopefully you get the idea: I&rsquo;m down a hole or trail of some sort and you&rsquo;re comin&rsquo; with me!&nbsp;
As fate would have it, of the MANY common injuries, illnesses, or ailments likely to befall a high school senior (mononucleosis, anyone?), I had the distinct privilege of contracting Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, dropping from 165 lbs to 117, missing graduation and summer, then driving southward to the sleepy metropolis of Waco, TX using one of my two crutches to mash on the accelerator because I&rsquo;d thrown my back out doing rehab in July to regain muscle mass.
How&rsquo;s all this for irony?&nbsp;
Senior Year &rsquo;88 is therefore a somewhat squishy memory for me, vaguely fugue-like from about March forward, and I remember it primarily as a blur and total bummer because it lacked closure on every front: few goodbyes, fewer explanations, then presto-blammo, wacky Waco here I be!
All this being the case, whenever I do think of high school, it&rsquo;s 1984 that tends to hit my memory bank the hardest.
For 2020 freshmen, what a year to be launching, yes? I mean, gee, if only the year coulda been more auspicious, more eventful, more pivotal, more memorable, more momentous somehow.
&ldquo;May you live in interesting times,&rdquo; right? And it&rsquo;s barely June!&nbsp;
But back to 1984, and a quick time-capsule for you&mdash;
FASHION: Freshman year began awash in a sea of squeaky parachute pants, Vans, Air Jordans, Doc Martens, Ray-Ban wayfarers and mirrored aviators, Panama Jack and OP tees, ropy gold chains, countless rubber wristlets, preppies, new wavers, punks, skaters, metal-heads, skinheads, Benettonites, hip hoppers, rockabillies, and fanatical leotarded aerobicizers.&nbsp;
TV was dominated by: Cagney &amp; Lacey, Cheers, Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest, Family Ties, Highway to Heaven, Hill Street Blues, Knots Landing, Magnum, P.I., Miami Vice, Murder, She Wrote, Newhart, Night Court, Remington Steele, Riptide, Scarecrow &amp; Mrs. King, Simon &amp; Simon, The A-Team, The Cosby Show, The Fall Guy, Trapper John, M.D., and tiny guy Webster.&nbsp;
The big MOVIES were: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Against All Odds, Amadeus, Bachelor Party, Beverly Hills Cop, Blame it on Rio, Breakin' (and Breakin&rsquo; II!), Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Conan the Destroyer, Dune, Firestarter, Footloose, Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter, Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Irreconcilable Differences, Johnny Dangerously, Missing in Action (Norris!), Moscow on the Hudson, Police Academy, Purple Rain, Red Dawn, Revenge of the Nerds, Rhinestone, Romancing the Stone, Sixteen Candles, Splash, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Starman, Supergirl, Teachers, The Cotton Club, The Evil That Men Do, The Flamingo Kid, The Gods Must Be Crazy, The Ice Pirates, The Karate Kid, The Killing Fields, The Last Starfighter, The Muppets Take Manhattan, The Natural, The Terminator, The Woman in Red, Thief of Hearts, Tightrope, Top Secret!, Unfaithfully Yours, Up the Creek, Weekend Pass, and Where the Boys Are '84.&nbsp;
At the roller rink, top TUNEMEISTERS included: Adam Ant, Bananarama, Billy Joel, Billy Ocean, Billy Squier, Bruce Springsteen, Chicago, Christine McVie, Christopher Cross, Corey Hart, Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, David Bowie, DeBarge, Duran Duran, Elton John, Eurythmics, Genesis, Hall &amp; Oates, Huey Lewis and the News, Irene Cara, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Waite, Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson, KC &amp; the Sunshine Band, Kenny Loggins, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, Kool &amp; The Gang, Laura Branigan, Lionel Richie, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Mike Reno and Ann Wilson, Nena, Night Ranger, Olivia Newton-John, Pat Benatar, Peabo Bryson, Peter Schilling, Phil Collins, Quiet Riot, Ratt, Ray Parker Jr., Rick Springfield, Rockwell, Rod Stewart, Run-DMC, Scandal, Shalamar, Sheila E., Steve Perry, Stevie Wonder, Stray Cats, The Cars, The Go-Go's, The Jacksons, The Pointer Sisters, The Police, The Rolling Stones, The Romantics, Thompson Twins, Tina Turner, Van Halen, Wang Chung, Wham!, Yes, and the long-beards themselves, ZZ Top.&nbsp;
In the NEWS: AIDS, Ethiopian famine (and Band Aid to help solve it!), Apple&rsquo;s Macintosh (and Sony&rsquo;s first 3 &frac12;&rdquo; disk, plus the introduction of commercial CD players!), the Summer Olympics (and the Soviets&rsquo; boycott), the first untethered space walk (Space Shuttle Challenger, followed in August by Space Shuttle Discovery), and the overall feeling that George Orwell mighta been on to something in his dystopian Nineteen Eighty-Four, though, admittedly, by today&rsquo;s standards, 1984 feels rather quiet and quaint, if not altogether na&iuml;ve.&nbsp;
It occurs to me that today&rsquo;s freshmen might as well be launching amidst their own dystopian prophecy of sorts, perhaps Aldous Huxley&rsquo;s masterwork being the order of the day, as it is fast becoming a Brave New World indeed, though hopefully for the [much] better.&nbsp;
Coincidentally&mdash;in case you have time for a couple final factoids and a dozen metaphors that endeavor to tie the whole room together!&mdash;Huxley died within hours of C. S. Lewis (November 22, 1963), though, understandably, too few of the citizenry were able to fully commemorate their passing and reach closure when it happened, as a progressive young President on the other side of the sea also happened to lose his life that day, in his case when the motorcade crept past the Texas School Book Depository and changed the course of history forever. Again.
History often has a rather odd way of sensemaking and putting things into perspective for us, does it not? Three renowned, notable Men of Letters had lost their lives in a single day, and two more thought-leaders would die violently at the hands of small-minded bigots in April and June of 1968.&nbsp;
Of this I am certain, though: The struggle is real, and it continues until The Very Bittersweet End.&nbsp;
Transitions, changes, passages, epochal eras, and especially upheavals rarely come on time, are frequently messy, disorganized, and open-ended, and can also be jarring when not outright violent. The status quo rarely goes quietly into some good night, nor does it simply fade away. In my experience, new order comes kicking and screaming loudly into the world and tears lotsa social fabric along the way.
What is &ldquo;fashionable&rdquo; is, by definition, temporal. It comes and goes, becoming something frivolous and perhaps even small by comparison, especially in retrospect. We learn first-hand that time marches on&hellip;waits for no man&hellip;and we cannot step into the same river twice. To not learn this would be ignorance, denial of truth, and intellectual/social/spiritual death.&nbsp;
Granted, I cannot predict what firefly fashions, sights, or sounds may catch our eyes or ears in the future, but I do agree that though the arc of the moral universe is long, it does bend toward justice, and progress will eventually carry the day.&nbsp;
But perhaps more importantly than all this, I believe in the scriptural promise that a child shall lead the way.
This being the case, I can think of no more auspicious, eventful, pivotal, memorable, momentous year than 2020 to launch our offspring out into the world to seize the day.
I pray they can blaze a better trail than we have, and eventually show us the way.
#LeadOn

Metamorphosis

<h2 align="center">P.S. Perspective &amp; Gratitude</h2>
Now that we have been in self-isolation for more than a month, not surprisingly, we are missing things we typically enjoy and have come to expect. We feel cramped a bit because we cannot go where we like and do as we please. Our favorite stores and regular haunts are closed, access to friends and family curtailed, schools shut down, sporting events on hold, and our entire daily routine has been flipped on its head.
Reports from news sources pile on with even more serious losses. Phrases like &ldquo;Great Depression&rdquo; pop up and point out job losses and scary financial predictions. Add the continued physical danger and loss of lives caused by COVID-19, and many say that we have never seen hard times like these on such a global scale.&nbsp;
The frustration is becoming visible. While the press and the public are lobbing complaints at the government and corporations concerning their actions during the pandemic, protests are pushing against the requirements to stay home and proceed carefully about returning to our former normal.&nbsp;
But as I have had more and more time to reflect on this pandemic, I am also reminded of significantly harder times experienced by not-so-distant generations. I recently read six books, fiction and non-fiction, on World War II and started reading more about World War I. We think we are in isolation!
I am astounded by the emotional, practical, and physical suffering experienced by those in battle and families back home. What did anxiety feel like for those who had no idea where their fathers, brothers, sons, and uncles were serving or how they were doing from day to day? Who could measure the loss of all the homes, cities, military hardware and lives that were demolished or that sank to the bottom of the sea? And yet many of us personally know and can recall the names, faces and stories of people who survived and endured these traumatic times and times much like them in wars that would soon follow.
I especially think of my father. Raymundo Romero who was born in the last metal pitched-roof house at the northeast corner of Trampas, New Mexico in 1907. He was the seventh-born of 10 children. He was a man small in stature, but giant in character and example.
I remember how for eight summers between 1935 to 1942, he served as Fire Lookout atop Picuris Mountain near Penasco, New Mexico. Accepting this position meant that he was in self-isolation for four to five months at a time. He was re-supplied with canned goods and a few fresh foods three or four times during the summer by pack horse. I recall his stories about how he looked forward to those visits and have read his diary entries about those times.
One detail helps me realize how good I have it. My father created a small &ldquo;cooler&rdquo; to keep his food fresh for a few more days. It was a box wrapped in burlap that he would wet daily, suspending it outdoors for the night air to keep cool. He hiked one mile down and then back up each day carrying two-gallon sized canteens. This march at daybreak supplied him with his fresh water for the day.
&nbsp;
<img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1587602635/g07zlensm7lgsz3gihpr.png" alt="" width="377" height="369" />
&nbsp;
Thinking about those times helps put things in perspective for me. I can jump in my car and get fresh things from the grocery store whenever I need them. There may not always be a wide selection, but, amazingly, necessities are there and continue to be restocked. I don&rsquo;t hike for water and can quickly get to beautiful places by car. I can hop on my computer or either of two phones to communicate easily with family and friends. I can order good books from Amazon and have them delivered to my doorstep in a matter of hours or a few days. My dad only had a radio for news and music and a crank telephone to the Ranger Station to report any potential fires. I have lots of screens that give me news, movies, and too many programs to watch in a lifetime.
When I practice gratitude, my list grows even longer. I&rsquo;m grateful for how supply chains continue to operate, and how medical systems, while strained in some places, are functioning heroically. I&rsquo;m glad there have been no large-scale bankruptcies that sparked a panic.&nbsp;
Think about work. If COVID-19 had struck just a decade or so earlier, there would have been no Zoom for virtual meetings and client interactions. FaceTime didn&rsquo;t exist until 2010. Business would have ground to a halt except for those tasks and messages that could have been sent by email.
Think of schools and universities. While we sadly lost graduation events and experiences, teachers and students moved smoothly to online classes that would have been unthinkable in recent decades. Not everything in the classroom can be replicated online, but most schools and universities of yesteryear would have had no option except to shut down completely.
You can make your own list, but when I remember how much we do have, even in demanding times like this, I begin to feel differently. When I remind myself that I am not as isolated as I sometimes think, and my losses are not so unique, it changes how I see. People I know and love have suffered in more challenging ways and serve as a model and inspiration to draw strength from today.
I don't know about you, but it helps me to keep things in perspective by comparing this current experience with what others before us have suffered. Somehow, I feel more grateful and even in possession of something very precious&hellip;a little more inner fortitude.

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 6.1: "P.S. Perspective & Gratitude"

<h2 style="text-align: center; font-size: 16pt;">Being With Uncertainty</h2>
Editor&rsquo;s Note: We asked the inimitable Lou Romero if he&rsquo;d be willing to share a few words of wisdom during this odd era of COVID-19. Of late, we have been thinking, reading, and hearing more and more about the anxieties many people feel living in this uncertainty. We hope Lou's words bring you an extra measure of peace today and in coming weeks.&nbsp; &nbsp;
<hr />
&nbsp;
We are called &ldquo;human beings.&rdquo;&nbsp;
I want to align my daily DOING with my BEING; the person I say I want to BE. My behaviors are born from a thought or feeling which grows into an intention, behavior, and actions. At age 78, especially during this &lsquo;pandemic&rsquo; time, I need a daily reminder of my intentions:
<ul>
<li>BE CALM: Focus on positive, hopeful, grateful thoughts that guide my self-awareness, self-talk, behavior, and actions. Have faith and hope that &lsquo;this too shall pass&rsquo; and we will have gained greater awareness about our interdependence locally and in the world. Allow time to meditate, pray, read, write, listen to music, and nap. </li>
<li>BE CREATIVE: Find projects that give me purpose and fulfillment; work on different ways to serve others; learn how to do new tasks; do some things I used to enjoy but haven&rsquo;t done in a long time; pause to think differently and surface new ideas for dealing with my current reality, both short-term and long&hellip;. </li>
<li>BE COMPASSIONATE: Take care of myself first so I can care for others; be kind and patient with myself when I get frustrated with &lsquo;what is&rsquo;; reach out to family and friends with kindness, knowing that everyone is dealing with uncertainty in their own way; avoid trying to &lsquo;preach&rsquo; how to be&hellip;be a good listener&hellip;. </li>
<li>BE COURAGEOUS: Address what I can control to improve &lsquo;what is&rsquo;; prepare for unusual situations that may require choices I have never faced before; think about ways to mitigate &lsquo;worst case scenarios&rsquo; with courage and confidence. </li>
<li>And then there is COMMITMENT. How do I know if I am ready to commit to an intention&hellip;or am I already committed? Do they remain only intentions? When I definitely commit to a behavior, task, action, or outcome&hellip;I feel and think differently. I can actually feel an inner change in my emotions and my sense of urgency. &nbsp;</li>
</ul>
 Years ago, a close friend gave me a plaque about COMMITMENT that reads:&nbsp;
&ldquo;Until one is committed, there is hesitancy,&nbsp; the chance to draw back, always ineffective&hellip;
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),&nbsp; there is one elemental truth, the ignorance of which&nbsp; kills countless ideas and splendid plans;
That the moment one definitively commits oneself,&nbsp; then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that&nbsp; would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one&rsquo;s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which could not have been dreamt to have come one&rsquo;s way.
I have learned a deep respect for&nbsp; one of Goethe&rsquo;s couplets: 
&lsquo;Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.&rsquo;&rdquo;
That quote has served as a positive reminder to me when hesitating to go &lsquo;all in.&rsquo;
 Another meaningful, powerful quote that prompts me to be mindful about how I am BEING simply reads:
&ldquo;There is no happiness that is secure and nothing that does not change.&rdquo;
This quote (by St. Teresa de &Aacute;vila, a 16th century scholar) was presented to me by my wife to commemorate our having beaten prostate cancer in November 1995. We&rsquo;d vacationed in Spain to celebrate, and one of our favorite stops was &Aacute;vila. We found it to be a beautiful place with a charming town square, friendly people, a cathedral in the middle, and nuns&rsquo; convent.&nbsp;I have internalized that quote for a quarter-century now. I examine what happiness means to me. Happiness is an enduring sense of inner peace; contentment that I have Purpose, Meaning, Fulfillment, and Spiritual growth in my life.&nbsp;
How do I feel and know when my happiness is fading? What do I do when that happens? I can usually detect when something is changing (or has already changed, now producing a feeling of anxiety). Anxiety disturbs my sense of happiness. When I finally accept that feeling, it prompts me to be introspective about the causes. I often find that I am neglecting one or more of my core values in some way. Once I identify the source, if it is something within my control&hellip;I can start making changes and commitments to return to a state of happiness. &nbsp;
 Frequently, the Serenity Prayer also grounds me and reduces my anxiety:
&ldquo;God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change,&nbsp; COURAGE to change the things I can,&nbsp; and the WISDOM to know the difference.&rdquo;
 I hope this prayer&mdash;or any of the other tools I&rsquo;ve shared here today&mdash;might do the same for you during these trying times.&nbsp;
May peace be with you always,
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1587387174/zifaujbnsxeptxbrl3mv.png" alt="LOU REMERO SIGNATURE" width="142" height="72" />

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 6: "Being With Uncertainty"

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Say it isn&rsquo;t so, Harvard; say it isn&rsquo;t so!
(Care to predict the street price of each respective first-to-market vaccine and antiviral drug once FDA-approved? In the voice of Billy Crudup: PRICELESS.)
Here&rsquo;s the latest on that front:&nbsp;<a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; font-family: inherit;" href="https://time.com/5819965/coronavirus-treatments-research/?fbclid=IwAR0RagwLL0zP7QMDVdHpMByP0BOtzMVwgCZtTfJPuFvztxjQ1VIWiYqC3PU" target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" data-ft="{&quot;tn&quot;:&quot;-U&quot;}" data-lynx-mode="asynclazy" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftime.com%2F5819965%2Fcoronavirus-treatments-research%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0RagwLL0zP7QMDVdHpMByP0BOtzMVwgCZtTfJPuFvztxjQ1VIWiYqC3PU&amp;h=AT0K5UPul1bXmp-0WO_iFBBIw5ZiGWcr80QHT6N-jZw6papKpy6D8AZrT332NFbLW4Wr6Quwjtya7fqvqS5o31Z9w1c44oer0gv1UXWpFtNH2mc40RHLzdxr6_7CRlVXDYAQX2kgDNm1VPpRq5viu2jRC4VG">https://time.com/5819965/coronavirus-treatments-research/&nbsp;</a>
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I&rsquo;m convinced the &ldquo;restarting/reopening the US&rdquo; reality is somewhere between May 1 optimism and 2022 pessimism. After all, necessity is the mother of invention. Humankind, entrepreneurship, our collective global economy, and science won&rsquo;t abide recurring waves of social distancing through 2022, but the mental image of full 60,000-persons-plus US football stadiums 120 days from now beggars belief.
I would LOVE immediate restoration at the snap of a cosmic finger, but I suspect we&rsquo;re in for a slow, slogging, sputtering summer of fits and starts succeeded by an autumn of intermittent postponements, outright cancellations, and en vogue venue restrictions (a smaller, limited number of event seats available only at premium prices, or to premier ticket holders, or perhaps by lottery where supply and demand feels elitist and becomes another casualty of&nbsp;<a class="_58cn" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; font-family: inherit;" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/cancel?source=feed_text&amp;epa=HASHTAG" data-ft="{&quot;type&quot;:104,&quot;tn&quot;:&quot;*N&quot;}">#cancel</a>&nbsp;culture).
I think legal liability (real and perceived) will continue to have a chilling effect on many large hosting entities, e.g., the NFL, Ticketmaster, convention centers and the like. And then, one day, some weeks or months hence, enough individuals and outlier organizations arguing their freedoms have been trounced upon by pursuits in the name of the greater good will become a chorus, and we shall see where, exactly, interests tip: toward commerce, free markets, the pursuit of happiness, and individualism/individual liberties, or public health. (A real, live prisoner&rsquo;s dilemma, Sophie&rsquo;s choice, Gordian knot if ever there was one.)
That tension feels front and center every day, from China to South Korea to Europe to WH press briefings to state governors&rsquo; pacts and others&rsquo; discord, to a swelling number of recent lawsuits brought against government.
What a time to...be. Alive.
And to see.
<a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-14/harvard-researchers-say-some-distancing-may-be-needed-into-2022?fbclid=IwAR1_WlwV6XTGS0kZKH7pENMB4p3a_NhY0CtILSm7CiTiScZD2FnTHIT2FL4">https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-14/harvard-researchers-say-some-distancing-may-be-needed-into-2022?fbclid=IwAR1_WlwV6XTGS0kZKH7pENMB4p3a_NhY0CtILSm7CiTiScZD2FnTHIT2FL4</a>
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Looking Ahead

<h2 style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Graduate from Grief</h2>
Grief is the process of putting back together the pieces of a broken heart&mdash;a hole so deep in the middle of your heart that you think it will never stop hurting.
You&rsquo;re hurting; you've suffered a loss; you've survived the death of a loved one or a relationship; you've lost your job; you've lost your identity or reputation; you've lost your money; you've lost your home; you are scared, hurt, confused, and you don't know what to do....
Welcome to&nbsp;grief, the completely normal, appropriate emotional response to loss. You feel it emotionally, physically, mentally, and behaviorally.&nbsp;It comes in waves and it won&rsquo;t go away. (At least, that is what you think.)&nbsp;
Everyone grieves differently; there is no right or wrong way to grieve.&nbsp;And you will get through it; most people do. But contrary to popular opinion&hellip;
&nbsp;
<h3 align="center">Time, alone, does not heal a broken heart.&nbsp;</h3>
&nbsp;
You will graduate from grief when&nbsp;you&nbsp;decide to do so.
Along the way, there will be many obstacles that make it difficult to grieve, among them:
<ol>
<li>People&rsquo;s expectations.&nbsp; What do I say to people?</li>
<li>Band-Aid cures. &nbsp;&ldquo;Try this,&rdquo; blah, blah, blah.</li>
<li>Relocation. &nbsp;I&rsquo;ll just move away.</li>
<li>Undeclared decrees.&nbsp; This will just go away.</li>
<li>You.&nbsp; This is not the time to compare yourself with others.</li>
</ol>
Every crisis is a leadership opportunity, and this is your opportunity to lead yourself to resolution and acceptance, but you&rsquo;re probably thinking, How do I do that? I&rsquo;m a mess right now!
The answer is you do it&nbsp;one step at a time. In fact, when they look back on their experience, many people will say that it was a cycle of learning&hellip;a gradual return to what will be a &ldquo;new normal.&rdquo; This is why it can be seen as graduating&nbsp;from grief.
We don&rsquo;t have to deny our loss in order to say goodbye. In fact, your very first step in the learning cycle is to embrace the truth.&nbsp;Staying in denial will only impede your progress. It will also compromise your integrity.
Be willing to&nbsp;share your truth with others. Sharing helps you heal. Keeping it inside will wear you out. By sharing your truth, you will learn that your experience is not unique; you are not alone.
Learn how to&nbsp;accept a support system and express your feelings. Thoughts determine feelings, and feelings determine actions. Stop any negative self-talk. You are moving forward.
When you are willing to express your personal feelings, admit your own limitations, and embrace a teachable spirit&hellip;you will experience&nbsp;vulnerability, which is&nbsp;the foundation of your&nbsp;new normal&nbsp;and your primary credential for&nbsp;graduation.
How will I know that I am progressing? Here are two keys that most people report:
<ol>
<li>I have built a support system of committed people that I can rely on to lend a hand in practical ways. One person is not enough. When friends ask if I need help, I say YES! Your willingness to be vulnerable will break down the barriers of doing it all by yourself&hellip;and get You out of the way of YOU!</li>
<li>I can report my feelings directly, without vague cover. For example, I&rsquo;m able to admit, &ldquo;I feel good.&rdquo; &ldquo;I feel lonely.&rdquo; &ldquo;I feel sad.&rdquo; &ldquo;I feel happy.&rdquo; Truth prevails, confidently.</li>
</ol>
&nbsp;
What will my new normal look like? Everyone is different, but most report:
<ol>
<li>I can deal honestly with my loss. I walk in integrity and truth.</li>
<li>I have learned to say goodbye to my loss.</li>
<li>I have forgiven the Who, What, Where, and How of my loss.</li>
<li>Anger and guilt no longer control me.</li>
<li>I have HOPE and I look forward with pleasure, confidence, and expectation.</li>
<li>I have learned how to heal and restore myself.&nbsp;</li>
</ol>
Your New Normal
The recognition and acceptance at an emotional level that life has changed, and new opportunities are on the horizon.
The &ldquo;Grief to Graduation&rdquo; Learning Cycle
<ol>
<li>Grief event occurs;</li>
<li>I come to terms with its reality in my life;</li>
<li>I learn to speak honestly and publicly about my feelings;</li>
<li>I accept assistance when offered;</li>
<li>I accept my vulnerability;</li>
<li>I say goodbye to my loss;</li>
<li>I say hello to my new normal;</li>
<li>I say &ldquo;Happy Graduation;&rdquo;</li>
<li>I embrace hope.</li>
</ol>
In conclusion,&nbsp;pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.&nbsp;
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1586759751/vgpslq2f99sfuktgogqk.jpg" alt="" width="150" />
&nbsp;
Author&rsquo;s Note:&nbsp;Portions of this article are attributable to my experiences teaching&nbsp;Grief Release&nbsp;classes with&nbsp;<a href="http://bristolhospice-oregon.com/about-us/our-teammedical-directors/">Joanne Petrie, Bereavement Chaplain at Bristol Hospice in Portland, Oregon</a>.

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 5: "Graduate from Grief"

<h2 align="center">&nbsp;</h2>
<h2 align="center">Flip the Switch&mdash;Turn on the LIGHT!</h2>
Do you notice? Throughout the lexicon of this existing malaise, I&rsquo;m noticing increasing references to the word &ldquo;light.&rdquo; Including, but not limited to, my coaching conversations with coachees.
<blockquote>
&ldquo;&hellip;we need to be light.&rdquo;
&ldquo;&hellip;there&rsquo;s so much darkness; we&rsquo;re called to be light.&rdquo;
&ldquo;&hellip;I&rsquo;m trying to be light with my team&hellip;.&rdquo;
</blockquote>
<img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585688757/gt5ykcrzneybkyoin1b1.jpg" alt="" width="175" />
This is just a sampling of phrases I&rsquo;ve heard in recent weeks.&nbsp;And, every once in a while, the word shows up in TV news interviews as I monitor the latest COVID-19 briefing out of Washington, D.C., followed by the state/local news updates.
I&rsquo;m pondering...&nbsp;&nbsp;What&rsquo;s &ldquo;light&rdquo; all about? What are behavioral, actionable practices for LIGHT in the midst of our new rhythm of life with COVID-19?&nbsp;
Reflect back to a time we all remember too well, September 11, 2001. You, no doubt, remember exactly where you were at the time, if you&rsquo;re old enough. The earthquake-jarring experience that reverberated deep within our individual and collective souls and spirits.&nbsp;
Where were you? Who were you with? What were you feeling? I remember gathering around my Dallas workplace office with tens of others, just trying to process it all. I was numb&hellip;shell-shocked.&nbsp;&nbsp;Unmoored like everyone else.
While 9/11 was a significant jolt, the current environment has been more of a &ldquo;slow-cooker evolution&rdquo; along &ldquo;the curve.&rdquo; Just as I write this, a friend is texting, apologizing for not responding in a timely fashion to my question yesterday. She was detoured making masks for her nurse sister until she ran out of elastic. Board games and puzzles are flying off the shelves as old becomes new again. First responder friends are assigned to working in the COVID-19 hospital ward this week. They are scared. I&rsquo;m sure you can relate to these themes echoed in your own circle of life.
Once we start to get a grip on reality with our adult selves, we shift to thinking about kids&mdash;their mental health. How do we help them make sense of it all? &ldquo;Why can&rsquo;t I go to school?&rdquo; &ldquo;Why can&rsquo;t my friends come over for my birthday party?&rdquo; &ldquo;Where&rsquo;s Grandma and Grandpa?&rdquo; &ldquo;Mommy&rsquo;s a nurse and stays alone in the bedroom all day.&rdquo; We&rsquo;re all isolated and distancing to a new degree and hunkered down.&nbsp;
Flashback to 2001 and 9/11. Back to the kids...
September 13, 2001: A friend and I decided to take action. The friend&rsquo;s daughter, MacKenzie, was in 3rd grade at a Plano, Texas elementary school. We reached out to her teacher with an idea regarding concerns about mental health. An idea to help shift the thinking and focus of the kids. To shift from trauma, the unknown, fear, uncertainty to a practice of gratitude.&nbsp;The teacher, Mrs. Riley, was all in&mdash;&ldquo;let&rsquo;s do it on Monday!&rdquo; she exclaimed.
Monday arrived. My friend showed up in the classroom. We supplied the notecards (Exhibit A) and postage. Teacher Riley stood up in front of the classroom and gave each 3rd grader an assignment: &ldquo;Think big and be bold! Despite all that is changing, we have so much to be grateful for. What are you grateful for? Your assignment is to write a letter of gratitude to someone for how they are making a difference today. We&rsquo;ll place them in envelopes and mail them all!&rdquo;
(Exhibit A)
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585692648/x7ber9999y091n7zwq5d.jpg" alt="" width="270" />
Meanwhile, a reporter and videographer from the local Fox News TV affiliate showed up. Someone tipped reporters off to Mrs. Riley&rsquo;s 3rd grade classroom activity.
Cameras were rolling. Nine-year-old Jack stood up and read his letter aloud to the President of the Red Cross. The videographer transitioned to Amanda reading her letter to the Fire Chief of New York City. Finally, MacKenzie stood up and read her handwritten letter to Queen Elizabeth II&mdash;thanking the Queen for allowing the Palace Guards to play America&rsquo;s &ldquo;Star-Spangled Banner&rdquo; at Buckingham Palace on September 13, 2001. (Exhibit B)&nbsp;
(Exhibit B)
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585689199/ddcjh9k9aoslkfhnkrz9.png" alt="" width="325" /> 
Guess who was featured on the Dallas evening news &ldquo;Hometown Heroes&rdquo; segment?
Fast forward five weeks to October. Imagine little MacKenzie walking to her mailbox. Amidst the flyers, bills and junk mail she discovers an envelope addressed to her and runs inside to tell Mom and Dad. You guessed it&mdash;an airmail envelope enclosed with letterhead from Buckingham Palace and Queen Elizabeth II (Exhibit C), thanking MacKenzie:&nbsp;&ldquo;The Queen thanks you very much for your kind message&hellip;.&rdquo;&nbsp;Wow! Intention. Gratitude. Hope. Trust the Tapestry.
(Exhibit C)
 <img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585688907/zdeetyygoxchscturbqc.jpg" alt="" width="300" />
Discovering and practicing gratitude is just one aspect of LIGHT, albeit an important one. There&rsquo;s more, of course. As I continue to reflect on LIGHT and gain clarity around actionable practices, thoughts emerged of a coaching tool.
<img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585689413/wbui05verdsiud3bmz2b.png" alt="" width="330" />
&nbsp;
To all my coachees, this coaching tool is for you. You inspired it, and, truth be told, it's as much yours now as it is mine.(On iPhone, press the image to Share, Add to Photos, or Copy. On desktop, Save or Copy the image to Forward or Print at desired scale.)
&nbsp;
You continue to inspire me beyond measure, as you:
<ul>
<li>Remain resilient despite the roadblocks</li>
<li>Persevere through the pressure</li>
<li>Shine alongside the suffering</li>
<li>Create clarity amidst the chaos</li>
<li>Remain tireless throughout the tumult</li>
<li>Insist upon integrity</li>
<li>Remain undaunted by the unknown</li>
<li>Pursue progress without expecting perfection</li>
</ul>
All the while continuing to&hellip;
<ul>
<li>Fire and light the flames within your family</li>
<li>While (importantly) remembering to take good care of yourself</li>
</ul>
I am so grateful for you. And I remain in your balcony cheering you on.
<img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585692460/hprubxredbbvqgkf3pqb.jpg" alt="" width="90" />
&nbsp;
I&rsquo;m reminded of the quote by Albert Schweitzer:
<blockquote>
&ldquo;At times our own light goes out and is
rekindled by a spark&nbsp;from another person.&nbsp;
Each of us has cause to think with
deep gratitude of those who have
lighted the flame within us.&rdquo;
</blockquote>
There are no silver bullets in times like these, but, if you&rsquo;re anything like me (and those I have the great privilege to coach right now), sometimes all we need is a gentle reminder. Gentle reminders (be they a coaching tool, a kind word of encouragement, or even <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YuWAZmD0aU&amp;feature=youtu.be" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a song</a> among them) that serve to nudge and propel us forward.&nbsp;&nbsp;
And, yes, even &ldquo;LIGHT&rdquo; our way.&nbsp;One step, one breath, one day at a time.
May we each discover our unique ways to&nbsp;attract LIGHT&nbsp;and to&nbsp;be LIGHT&nbsp;during this unprecedented season of opportunity and new rhythm of life.
<img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585688959/vzufshov9zsvkpifqvqy.jpg" alt="" width="270" />
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585615133/z3hreg7gab9vf28xlrcg.jpg" alt="" width="120" />

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 4: "Flip the Switch—Turn on the LIGHT!"

<h2 style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Four Steps to New Perspective</h2>
I&rsquo;m a big believer in perspective. In fact, it&rsquo;s probably the common denominator in most everything I write and teach because it's a force multiplier. This being the case, I thought today might be a fine time to share four steps to a new perspective. Whether you&rsquo;re an early bird, night owl, or hummingbird, you can incorporate these anywhere in your daily routine. And if you're an introvert or Swainson's Warbler (arguably the world's shyest bird), well then, you can incorporate the steps into your solo lunches!
Step 1: Unplug (from the news, from social media, from others&mdash;be they family, friends, co-workers).
Step 2: Then set a timer for 15 minutes to feel sorry for yourself. Doubt. Fear. Shake your fist at the world, at leadership, at the market, or scream into the wilderness for all I care. Whatever poison&rsquo;s coursing through your veins, this is your &lsquo;free time&rsquo; to let it run unbridled, unchecked, full out. Scratch it down in your journal if you want. Just make sure you get it all out, because you won&rsquo;t get this chance for another 24 hours :-)
Step 3:When the timer chimes, turn the page in every way: mentally, physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, socially, relationally, and on paper. Count your blessings. For what are you thankful this day? Allow an attitude of gratitude to pour through you as you&nbsp;write down every single positive thing that comes to your mind. &ldquo;I am grateful I can think.&rdquo; &ldquo;I am grateful for this pen.&rdquo; &ldquo;I am grateful for this page.&rdquo; &ldquo;I am grateful I have the use of my hand to write on this page.&rdquo; &ldquo;I am grateful I am not alone.&rdquo; &ldquo;I am grateful the sun rose today.&rdquo; List as many of the 'good things' (aka&nbsp;blessings) as you can for as long as you&rsquo;d like. When you&rsquo;re done, re-read them one last time, aloud, even if you&rsquo;re only whispering to yourself.
Step 4: Now turn your attention to the world and go make it a better place. Give back. Think of someone, anyone, to whom you WILL &lsquo;pay forward&rsquo; some kindness in the coming hours. For example:
I received a text the other day that read, in part,&ldquo;Please give me an update about how you are dealing with our new reality, how you think about it philosophically, and, most importantly, your health.&rdquo;
And Sunday morning, I came across a missed call and voicemail from an old friend: &ldquo;Just calling to give you 'a check-up from the neck-up.&rsquo; I&rsquo;m just taking time to call and check on friends whom I love and care about. Just want you to know I love you, I&rsquo;m thinking of you, and I wish you well.&rdquo;
And yesterday morning, a text from a freelancer and her family: "Checking in to see how you're doing. Please let me know how we can be praying for you."
Beautiful, right?
These buoys buoyed me, and I, in turn, did my very best to pay that positive energy forward by sending a number of texts to others, ordering takeout in a micro-effort to support two locally-owned restaurants that are struggling...and tipping an amount equal to the food and drink cost should it make a difference in the servers' day. Who knows, maybe it'll make the choice between paying the water bill or the electric bill this month a both/and moment.
# # #
&nbsp;
I once read, &ldquo;How can you taste my tea if you won&rsquo;t empty your own cup first?&rdquo;
Try these four steps this coming week and let me know how it goes. Be disciplined; do them all.
You can&rsquo;t control the world, but you can control your behavior in it and your reaction to it.
Tell me how the tea tastes.
&nbsp;
Onward and upward!
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585600036/jlzz2ewiqlalhxclbdwv.jpg" alt="" width="80" />

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 3: "Four Steps to New Perspective"

<h3 style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;" align="center">Testing Positive: Staying Upbeat in Hard Times</h3>
Getting extraordinary things done in extraordinary times requires A LOT of positive energy. These are extraordinary times. Upbeat leaders know the importance of energizing and inspiring others to push through tough challenges. They model an optimistic attitude, not by shallow cheerleading, but by stoking the fire within themselves first.&nbsp;
That&rsquo;s not easy when truckloads of bad news seem to be dumped at our doorstep each morning. So, how do you live with what Henry Van Dyke called &ldquo;forward face and un-reluctant soul&rdquo;? Here are four suggestions that may help:
Staff Meeting of One: Even when we decide to lead with positivity, we often need to deal with our inner negatives. Sometimes inner voices argue: &ldquo;No one is going to take you seriously. You are the least positive person I know. Sometimes Bad is just Bad!&rdquo; How do you quiet down those negative inner voices, even when they sound so convincing?
Instead of ignoring those voices, one executive I know calls an &ldquo;Inner Board Meeting.&rdquo; He begins each day having a conversation with the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual parts of himself&hellip;his &ldquo;personal board of directors.&rdquo; He asks each board member to speak up and express how they are doing. His Mind dumps all its thoughts, strategies, doubts and worries.&nbsp; His Emotions name what they are feeling, and his Body speaks up about what it needs today.
He lets each part have their say but no single voice dominates the meeting. He &ldquo;chairs&rdquo; the meeting so that he can address real concerns and move positively into his day without the internal noise. Calling this &ldquo;staff meeting of one&rdquo; keeps those inner voices from canceling out the positive directions you want to take.
Cultivating Gratitude: The positive leader is fully informed and faces the reality of circumstances, but never loses sight of the good things happening as well. Even in hard times, victories are occurring around us. People are stepping up in ways that can be acknowledged and celebrated. Little grace-moments are blooming that if noticed and appreciated, will fuel our enthusiasm and spark others to notice those things too. No one can be simultaneously bitter, pessimistic and deeply grateful at the same time. When do you carve out time to survey the daily good things that have happened and been gifted to you?
Replenishing Your Spiritual Capital: Positive energy requires fuel, and no matter how sunny your disposition may be, that fuel isn&rsquo;t pumped from within ourselves. We need an outside source if we are going to consistently move in hopeful and helpful directions. We draw wisdom, comfort and guidance from our chosen faith traditions.Keep company with resilient, buoyant leaders, whether it is by reading great works and words of past heroes, following wise encouraging leaders through social media and podcasts, or picking up the phone to check in with forward-leaning friends.
Where are the spiritual reserves that will supply you for the long haul?
Relaxing and Recharging Daily: At my house, we&rsquo;ve started an official &ldquo;Happy Hour&rdquo; where we stop working, set out some special snacks and drinks, turn up the tunes and enjoy one another&rsquo;s company for a bit. No matter what has happened or may still happen during the day, when Happy Hour starts, worry, complaining, and grinding stops.
Presidential scholar and author, Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that during some of the most difficult days in our country&rsquo;s history, our greatest leaders knew the importance of taking a break from the action. Abraham Lincoln went to the theater more than 100 times during the Civil War. Teddy Roosevelt exercised for two hours each day. FDR had a cocktail party most nights of the war, with one rule: No talking about the war. Each knew the value of slowing down and recharging if they were going to stand up to the challenges of their day.
Genuine enthusiasm doesn&rsquo;t grow from a glued-on smile. And thanks to social distancing, no one would see it anyway. Part of the magic of great leadership is the ability to project optimism and confidence into other people. Remember, we can&rsquo;t give what we don&rsquo;t have, but we can find everything we need to lead in positive directions. Which one of these practices would help energize you most?
Until next time,
Onward and upward!
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585599898/l5fhq9o1w76bgjsn5nlk.jpg" alt="" width="82" />

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 2: "Testing Positive: Staying Upbeat in Hard Times"

&nbsp;
Is Your Bubble Bursting?
Ours is, but we&rsquo;re not alone. Sandwiched somewhere in the middle between COVID-19 deniers and outright doomsdayers lie the rest of us, the majority. We&rsquo;re not professional athletes, celebrities, politicians, or the frontline of defense or attack in this world war, but we are consequential in this fight and doing our part as asked by temporarily retreating from the outside world in a combined effort to help &ldquo;flatten the curve&rdquo; and stop COVID-19 in its tracks.
Those are words we never anticipated writing, but there they are. We&rsquo;ve all read a lot of words in the past few weeks we never imagined reading.
Somewhere along the way (be it the past week for North Americans, a week or two ago for Italy, Spain, and Europe writ large, and up to 90 days ago for China), society&rsquo;s bubble began to burst. That burst continues&mdash;is spreading and enlarging, in fact&mdash;and will get worse before it gets better. For those with discretionary income, now is as good a time as 2008 and 1987 to 'buy low' and invest, but what are the 3.3 million Americans who filed for unemployment last week to do, those living paycheck to paycheck?&nbsp;
As ordinary citizens, we are doing our best to stay abreast of this dynamic, ever-evolving situation that has both personal and professional implications the likes of which many of us have not experienced in our lifetime. And we want to be part of the solution, not the problem, so members of our team will periodically share Tips &amp; Tools, which, for this season, one can rightly describe as tumultuous times. There are no silver bullets (or, if there are, at least we haven&rsquo;t heard of them&hellip;yet), but sometimes it helps to think aloud with others, and to share, particularly if it&rsquo;s constructive, positive, and pragmatically actionable advice.
Our unscheduled submissions in this spontaneous series will not be elaborate, fancy, or overly produced; there simply isn&rsquo;t time, energy, or slush money for that, nor do we believe anyone is particularly interested in reading more than a thousand words from Leath Group on his/her tiny smartphone. But as motivated or moved, we will share small, simple things that are helping our own self-talk or are positively buoying our families, our team members, our clients, or our communities.
Today&rsquo;s small, simple tip is the burst.
If you&rsquo;re like others with whom we&rsquo;ve engaged in recent days, then you&rsquo;ve probably been saying one particular four letter word a lot lately. Not the spicy four-letter words we&rsquo;re discouraged from saying as children, or in mixed company, or in places of worship, but rather, an ordinary four-letter word that hides in plain sight and goes uncensored.
In truth, maybe it&rsquo;s not so much a full word as it is the root of a word: RUPT.
Think of all the words this tiny root produces:
Rupture
Interrupt
Abrupt
Erupt
Disrupt
Corrupt
Bankrupt
The root of all those words, rupt, simply means to burst, but it&rsquo;s a somewhat violent word.
Aspects of your life right now (if they have not already begun to transition beyond the phase of &ldquo;suspended animation&rdquo;) are likely interrupted because the whole world (and life as we know it) has been disrupted. This massive disruption has sent more and more of us into residential isolation where routines are also bursting. In fact, you&rsquo;re likely discovering all sorts of new interruptions daily, challenges you&rsquo;ve never experienced before.
The original Latin word, rupture, meant fracture, like a bone breaking. The metaphor is fitting, no? The current pain points have happened suddenly (abruptly), are distressing, and will require time to correct. In fact, whether you&rsquo;re a COVID-19 denier or doomsdayer, the truth of the matter is that economies have been wrecked, healthcare capacity is hemorrhaging, and it will take several weeks, months, or, in some domains, perhaps even years for equilibrium to be restored.
So, the big question for today is simply What can I do about it?
The first step begins with acknowledging reality. In fact, that&rsquo;s the first step in every successful recovery program. It&rsquo;s okay to feel anxious, unmoored, perhaps even angry. Life is definitely not fair; we&rsquo;re not always dealt a winning hand; no one enjoys losing control. Uncertainty is scary.
But here we are, in the void, so it&rsquo;s time to accept the facts of the moment. Composure must be regained before it can be maintained, and it&rsquo;s up to you&mdash;an influencer at work, at home, in your community&mdash;to screw your head on straight and pull yourself together. People are looking to you, counting on you for the tone that you set. If you&rsquo;re calm, others are inclined to be calm. If you&rsquo;re panicky, others may panic, too, and panic is terribly destructive. (&ldquo;Panic purchasing,&rdquo; in fact, has disrupted supply chains around the world. Exhibit 1: Toilet Paper.)
Rather than being fearful, what if you were opportunistic?
After all, what we are experiencing shall eventually pass, sure as the sun will rise again tomorrow. And then, of course, there will always be something new, something next. The next thing. That, too, is certain. Our world, our ecosystems, are living, breathing entities, and as such, they change, they adapt, they evolve, they transform and are transformed. Heraclitus wrote, "In the same river we both step and do not step, we are and are not." That&rsquo;s the nature of...nature. Flow, flow, flow.
As for today, we encourage you to find your routine, your schedule, some sense of normalcy and stability amid the new (ab)normal business as (un)usual, and get yourself moored. Once you&rsquo;re anchored&mdash;be it to faith, philosophy, safe shelter, approved social distancing strategies, virtual communication tools, or that notorious toilet paper roll in the restroom&mdash;turn your eyes to your ever-expanding locus of control.
We&rsquo;ll share some tips and tools to do so now and again, but remember, bursts and breaks are not restored immediately, but rather, bit by creeping bit, so cut yourself some slack and give yourself some grace. And practice patience. This may not be a terribly long journey, but it won&rsquo;t be an overnight recovery, either. Mind the rocks and waves, yes, but keep your eyes on the lighthouse as you swim to the next buoy.
T4/Article 1 (Burst Bubble) Applications:
<ol>
<li>Check your thinking: Are you currently denying or doomsdaying the effects of COVID-19</li>
<li>What would others say about your behavior in recent days?</li>
<li>Are there any &lsquo;rupts&rsquo; or &lsquo;bursts&rsquo; in your personal or professional life in recent days? If so, what are they? What might be the short-term consequences of them (and long-term, if they persist)?</li>
<li>What are the factual realities you&rsquo;re facing? What are the feared/most extreme realities you may face in the not-so-distant future? Are these likely, or mostly hyperbole?</li>
<li>Despite the fears and the losses (be they real or imagined), what opportunities exist in this 'purgatory period'? How might you 'seize the day'?</li>
<li>And finally, what are some activities or routines that you can begin each day to remain grounded and create a sense of normalcy? Is there some future state&mdash;or end goal, belief, or philosophy&mdash;to which you can fix your eyes and remain stable in coming days and weeks?</li>
</ol>
Answers to these questions (which we also encourage you to share with those around you, by the way) are good starters toward increasing your self-awareness and becoming socially accountable, and social accountability is not only a stepping stone toward positive reinforcement, but also toward new habit-creation.
Until next time, onward and upward!
<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585345653/kv27r8qpwet6hlse1bnh.jpg" alt="" width="100" />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/leath-group/image/upload/v1585345713/kayyox9ehscjjmidy4gm.jpg" alt="" width="70" />

TIPS & TOOLS, Article 1: "Is Your Bubble Bursting?"

&lsquo;Tis the season of commencements galore (tonight our family had to divide and conquer to attend concurrent graduations), so the once original &ldquo;Oh, the Places You'll Go!&rdquo; has now become tired and trite, BUT, I must say: Seeing a tight-knit group of 52 graduates whoop, holler, embrace one another, and eventually cry with joy&hellip;is a breathtakingly beautiful sight to behold. Especially right up close.
These kids have worked SO hard, for SO long, and often in concert with one another, that it really is rewarding to see them graduate. Something so deceptively simple, but 18 years or nearly 158,000 hours in the making.
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I do hope they will pause, though&mdash;savor the moment&mdash;before leaning their shoulders into whatever&rsquo;s next.
I don&rsquo;t know about you, but I spent three decades too many looking ahead, living in the future and rarely in the moment&hellip;when all we REALLY have is now, and now, and now, and now. The future is merely a concept, a mental construct, until it manifests in the present as another now.
&bull; &bull; &bull;
&ldquo;I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You&rsquo;re the one who has to walk through it.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt that never exists.&rdquo;
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"If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you have but slumber'd here while these visions did appear."
&bull; &bull; &bull;&nbsp;
Sure, carpe diem, but stop and smell the roses for cryin&rsquo; out loud. You&rsquo;ve earned it and will never be as young again as you were today.
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