The Disengaged

Shared with&nbsp;me today by a very dear collaborator,&nbsp;several of us&nbsp;found this Civil War era love letter profoundly touching; and that&#39;s saying something--because a great many of these bygone letters are highly eloquent, moving and altogether romantic, either despite or because of the circumstances in which they were written. 


While most of our politicians are doing their best, it does seem as though they lose their way more often than they find it...bickering, grandstanding, politicking, posturing, oversimplifying, overcomplicating, spinning, subterfuging, zero-summing.&nbsp; And all, allegedly, under the guise of &#39;good faith negotiations&#39; and at the behest of&nbsp;some vague, amorphous electorate who issued&nbsp;an oft-invoked referendum on taxing and spending. 


Though I&nbsp;write&nbsp;tonight while Congress haggles over increasing the&nbsp;U.S. debt ceiling, leadership squabbles--and political ones--are timeless and unceasing.&nbsp; 


For this reason alone, I personally find Major Ballou&#39;s letter to his&nbsp;wife, Sarah, a great reminder&nbsp;of why patriots do what they do.&nbsp; Or should.&nbsp; 


It&#39;s a clarion call, indeed--or a North Star, or a lighthouse, or a touchstone or, at the very least, a glimmer that catches one&#39;s attention and brings his eyes back to the road. 


I&#39;m sure it will do the same for you: <a href="/blogging/file.axd?file=2011%2f7%2fMyVeryDearSarah.pdf">MyVeryDearSarah.pdf (141.70 kb)</a>

Major Sullivan Ballou's last letter to his beloved Sarah

My wife received the neatest card today from our eight-year-old daughter&#39;s tutor: 

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I doubt you&#39;re quite as gobsmacked as I was when I read it, but I think it&#39;s&nbsp;breathtaking. 


As parents, of course, we expect the tutoring that Lauren receives&nbsp;to&nbsp;primarily support and&nbsp;amplify her classroom schoolwork, but this beautiful card serves as a testament to the many &#39;secondary&#39; lessons she is also learning.&nbsp; (Arguably, the lessons we learn outside the books are even more important in life, are they not?&nbsp; Of course they are.&nbsp;&nbsp;Anyone will&nbsp;win that argument 10 times out of 10 with&nbsp;half&nbsp;his brain cells&nbsp;tied behind&nbsp;his frontal lobe.) 


Several colleagues and I were beneficiaries of a very similar &#39;secondary lesson&#39; just this past week.&nbsp; 


In conversation with a beloved client, one of my teammates offered herself up to deliver a handful of additional&nbsp;days as part of a programmatic evaluation.&nbsp; The unanticipated days will require&nbsp;more research and additional focus groups, phone outbriefs and several&nbsp;1-to-1 coaching appointments.&nbsp; No small commitments, any of them.&nbsp; And not chump change to our organization, either.&nbsp; By using her here, we forfeit the opportunity to&nbsp;benefit from her efforts elsewhere. 


Unfortunately,&nbsp;our contract with this client is nearing its expiration date--and its ceiling.&nbsp; There are simply no more funds to be secured. 


But it is clear to us--and clear to this&nbsp;peerless colleague of ours--that &quot;executing this unprojected work is the right thing to do.&quot;&nbsp; It&#39;s right for the participants and right for the&nbsp;sponsoring organization.&nbsp; (Without it, we won&#39;t satisfactorily scratch our collective OCD itch.&nbsp; Several of us live by the mantra, &quot;In God we Trust.&nbsp; All Others, Bring Data.&quot;) 


So...we&#39;re doing it.&nbsp; Pro Bono.&nbsp; (Or, to give credit where credit is due, she&#39;s doing it.&nbsp; And we all support her, just as she has supported each of us&nbsp;on those occasions when we did what we believed was right, regardless the cost.) 


Throughout this offer, the client--our partner--was&nbsp;insistent about negotiating in good faith and honoring the original contract.&nbsp; They did not request the additional work and were very concerned about our offering to deliver it outside the scope.&nbsp; In my own words, they were essentially saying, &quot;We accept this with&nbsp;happy hands, appreciating immeasurably what you are doing for our people--and&nbsp;hoping that you never feel taken advantage of in our relationship.&quot; 


We do not, of course.&nbsp; And&nbsp;their attitude&nbsp;affirms that we have made the right decision and reminds us all, for the 334th time,&nbsp;that &quot;choosing the right clients&quot; is second only to &quot;choosing the right team.&quot; 


(Honey and Vinegar, indeed.&nbsp; The line of &#39;consultants&#39; waiting to serve this and similar clients is particularly long, because we all know what it&#39;s like to collaborate with bossholes and black holes for whom &quot;good enough...&quot; never is.&nbsp;&nbsp;Those vampiric sorts of relationships result in nothing less than dried-out carcasses on&nbsp;both sides of the road.) 


&nbsp;


And&nbsp;call it what you will, but reciprocity--karma--the boomerang effect--whatever...is in full swing.&nbsp; Always has been, always will be. 


This&nbsp;very week, I have been a Denzel Washington Man On Fire, absolutely&nbsp;consumed with yet another project&nbsp;that, at midnight after midnight,&nbsp;can feel&nbsp;100%&nbsp;bottomless.&nbsp; Periodically,&nbsp;I have nightmares&nbsp;where&nbsp;I&#39;m swimming through a stadium of dried black-eyed peas.&nbsp; (And not the musical kind.)&nbsp;&nbsp;Each void created&nbsp;by my hands scooping forward is&nbsp;filled the moment I draw&nbsp;them back.&nbsp; My preliminary list of &gt;30 to-do&#39;s became 40, then 50 and now stands at 76.&nbsp;&nbsp;Just as I prepare to strike items from my list, another half-dozen materialize before my very eyes. 


What&#39;s the first rule of holes?&nbsp; &quot;If you are in one, stop digging.&quot; 


I wish. 


So here we are, several of us, eyeball-deep in this&nbsp;other project and&nbsp;minding the budget like a pack of mongooses.&nbsp; A couple of the internal tasks we require are pretty amorphous, and each of the individuals focused on these tasks has been very careful to avoid letting a snack become a meal.&nbsp; (I&nbsp;have the great fortunate of being surrounded by stewards all the way down the line.) 


As I&#39;m visiting with&nbsp;these two&nbsp;particular colleagues yesterday, they both say, &quot;We&#39;ll finish our parts for free.&quot; 


&quot;I can&#39;t let you do that,&quot; I counter.&nbsp; &quot;It was my error; I mis-scoped the project and I&#39;ll take the hit.&quot; 


&quot;No, you&#39;ve done right by both of us all along the way, Blake.&nbsp; It&#39;s the least we can do.&nbsp; We&#39;ll make it up another time.&quot; 


In the end, we split things right down the middle and, as the &#39;ol song says, &quot;Four days late but right on time.&quot; 


As a direct result of their professionalism, selflessness and generous spirit, I see thousands of gallons of black-eyed peas swirling away and downward before me.&nbsp; The entire project&nbsp;can now be wrapped up in a matter of days and, thanks&nbsp;to the finest colleagues in the field,&nbsp;we&#39;ll&nbsp;squeak through in the black and rise yet again like the proverbial phoenix.&nbsp; 


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Believe it or not,&nbsp;every word of this&nbsp;brings me back, full circle, to that one tiny penny.&nbsp; 


The sort of penny that, today--comprised of 97.5% zinc--isn&#39;t&nbsp;even worth one cent.&nbsp; And yet, in the hands of a precious tutor, is worth its weight in gold. 


Why? 


Because this one penny,&nbsp;seemingly negligible at&nbsp;a couple grams (and hardly worth bending over to pick up in a parking lot),&nbsp;is a massive&nbsp;reminder that,&nbsp;&quot;Whoever&nbsp;can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.&quot; 


True partners,&nbsp;be they&nbsp;internal, external, professional or scholastic, absolutely nail it at both the micro and macro levels.&nbsp; 


And&nbsp;in doing so, they remind us there is&nbsp;a fourth&nbsp;way to empty the swimming pool, one that is both faster and more efficient than scooping, shoveling or&nbsp;bilging: allow the gravity of partnership to beat weight at its own game--by draining it.

One Priceless Penny

Several days ago while differentiating <a href="../../blog/post/leadership-the-university-poor-vs-great-leaders">Good vs. Poor Leaders</a>, I&nbsp;committed to write a bit more about leadership.&nbsp;
In keeping that&nbsp;commitment, allow me to share the following model which has proven helpful for&nbsp;several groups over the years.
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Beyond 'arguably,' there are&nbsp;certainly a number of key&nbsp;leadership competencies&nbsp;unaccounted for here (like systems thinking and change), but we can dive into those another time.
What the model here does do, and simply, is capture 2 key axes, 4 diverse endpoints...and all this while reminding the leader&nbsp;the importance of stability.
Let's start with the 2 axes, Results and Relationships.&nbsp; 
Notionally, the premise of Results and Relationships (like Yin and Yang)&nbsp;alerts leaders to mind these two very unique yet interrelated dimensions.&nbsp;
On the one hand, great leaders have got to be adequate (or, more ideally, exceptional) relationship-builders.&nbsp; For those&nbsp;leaders&nbsp;who like to think programmatically, linearly or&nbsp;via 'building blocks,' understanding that he or she can build relationships in two ways often proves constructive.&nbsp;
For example, on the one hand, a leader can&nbsp;build and&nbsp;improve relationships by focusing on how he or she Collaborates with others.&nbsp; Collaborate is a&nbsp;straightforward word -- it means to "co-labor" or "work together."&nbsp; Two practical ways to think about this include: (1)People do not resist their own ideas and (2)People like to see their photo...or 'DNA' in the scrapbook.&nbsp; In short, to be a better leader, co-labor with others in ways that allow them to contribute and see their contributions.&nbsp; It's as simple as that, and yet a huge portion of the 'leadership population' does not operate this way.&nbsp; Instead, they place themselves at the center of everything, marginalizing those around them as grunts and missing tremendous opportunities to facilitate dialogue, contribution, better solutions and support.
A second way for a leader to build and improve relationships is through Communication.&nbsp;&nbsp;Here's a neat way to think about communication: (1)Awareness occurs through the senses, (2)Understanding occurs in the mind, (3)Belief occurs in the heart and (4)Behavior occurs through the hands.&nbsp; Pragmatically, this means&nbsp;more than time&nbsp;permits us to unpack today...but imagine a company that seeks to 'communicate' through posters in the cafeteria, name badges, mouse pads or screen savers.&nbsp;&nbsp;Will people be 'aware' of the company's&nbsp;direction?&nbsp; Perhaps.&nbsp; But will they integratively understand, believe and demonstrate that direction daily?&nbsp;&nbsp;It's doubtful.&nbsp; To improve the odds, the organization should learn to communicate in ways that involve people and breathe life into the ideologies by animating and modeling&nbsp;beliefs and behaviors.&nbsp; The Confucius maxim, "I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand" holds water.
But communication is about a lot more than 'spewing or sensing.'&nbsp; I believe that, as is the case our entire lives, we learn more by doing than seeing or hearing.&nbsp; Said more plainly, if you want to communicate effectively, involve another person in the decision-making or delegation of a task.&nbsp; (Like mathematics, you don't really know whether I understand the problem's nuances&nbsp;until I show my work.)&nbsp; And while I have you here, let me add one more morsel: Deciding and Delegating are two of our strongest methodologies for Developing people.&nbsp; Lots of leaders 'miss' this, making too many decisions themselves or seeing delegation as a way to clear their plate.&nbsp; This is a huge mistake.&nbsp; Instead, approach each task and ask yourself, "How can this serve as a developmental opportunity for someone else, too?"&nbsp; Then, draw&nbsp;others into the decision-making process or delegation loop purposefully.&nbsp; (The sign of a great leader is increasing irrelevance.&nbsp; The sign of a poor leader is unending dependence.&nbsp;&nbsp;Great parents&nbsp;teach this, starting with removing the training wheels.)&nbsp;
Continuing now, any leader must accomplish results.&nbsp; I have&nbsp;often viewed results as occurring&nbsp;across two common categories of activities, distinguishable along a scale of management and leadership.&nbsp; The teeter-totter image below should prove a helpful tool for your further&nbsp;consideration&nbsp;of this idea.&nbsp;
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<img style="width: 417px; height: 415px;" src="../../blogging/image.axd?picture=2010%2f8%2fL%26M.jpg" alt="" width="536" height="629" />
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At the core of the first model, though, are values &amp; ethics.&nbsp; These alone are an entire field of inquiry that Aristotle himself didn't finish pondering.&nbsp; One's own values and ethics&nbsp;warrant a lifetime of exploration and commitment.&nbsp; They&nbsp;unquestionably serve as our&nbsp;compass' True North position, without which we wander, wonder and succumb to all manner of&nbsp;mirages and temptations.
I&nbsp;know it's not true in the purest sense, but I have always been predisposed to believe that if it's easy or convenient, it's probably wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;Those&nbsp;things in life which prove virtuous or right generally seem to be more difficult&nbsp;or inconvenient.&nbsp; Diet, exercise, discipline, meaningful communication, giving others the benefit of the doubt, turning the other cheek, being selfless, meeting others' expectations, checking one's work, proofreading, going slowly now to go faster later, saving money, finishing one's homework proactively rather than procrastinating, loving thine enemy, living a whole and undivided life (walking the talk), dying unto oneself, checking&nbsp;one's ego at the door, truly listening (vs. reloading), being creative rather than a revisionist....&nbsp; These are difficult things, and right.
In summary then, if you aspire to be a better leader, don't forget these 'minima:' Create better relationships through more purposeful collaboration and communication.&nbsp; Achieve results through a proper mixture of management and leadership.&nbsp; And all the while, drop your anchor deep into a stable, unchanging bedrock of consistent values and ethics.
Do these and you'll be more consciously-competent than half the leaders on the field.

The Disengaged

Major Sullivan Ballou's last letter to his beloved Sarah

One Priceless Penny

Holistic Leadership

The Redemption of an Angry Team