Fallen Kingdom indeed. That's truth in advertising, folks.
We are now five movies into this increasingly bloated franchise, and I'm sorry to say that despite countless rebirths and Herculean efforts at total and complete regeneration, its age is beginning to show nonetheless.
The problem with the latest installment is that it's too much. Too much action, too much noise, too much DNA, too many combinations, too many mixed metaphors, too many genres...too much everything. We are one eugenic slice away from launching a Bionic Woman franchise, for Pete's sake!
I think [character] Dr. Zia Rodriguez (a paleo-veterinarian, no less!) says it best when she remarks, "It's a sock drawer in there."
Yep, lots of possibilities, but too few matches and only one to two irrefutable hits.
I'm reminded of Planet of the Apes. You tell me: Among these many entries, how many were good to great?
Planet of the Apes (1968)
Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)
Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)
Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)
Planet of the Apes (reboot, 2001)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
I would say 4 out of 9, which puts us squarely into September 20, 1977 territory, the date on which Fonzie infamously...well, you know....