Socrates' Test of Three

In ancient Greece (469-399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. 

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who approached him excitedly and implored, "Socrates, Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
 
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a test, the Test of Three."
 
"Test of Three?"
 
"That's correct," Socrates continued, "before you talk to me about one of my students, let's take a moment to test what you're going to say, shall we?  The first test involves Truth.  Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
 
"No," the man replied, "actually, I just heard about it."
 
"All right," said Socrates, "so you don't really know whether it's true or not.  Then let's try the second test, involving Goodness.  Is what you are about to tell me regarding my student something good?"
 
"No, on the contrary...."
 
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true."
 
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
 
Socrates continued, "Hope remains, though, because there is a third test, the test of Usefulness.  Is what you desire to tell me regarding my student useful?"
 
"No, not really...."
 
"Well then," concluded Socrates, "if what you seek to tell me is not True nor Good nor Useful, why share it with me at all?"
 
Defeated and ashamed, the man said no more.
 
This is one of the many reasons why Socrates was such a great philosopher and held in high esteem.
 
It also explains why Socrates never learned that Plato was cavorting with his wife.    

(Sorry, some web-crumbs are simply too hilarious to keep to oneself.  Come back tomorrow; maybe I'll be serious then.)